Mapgirl’s Fiscal Challenge

This weekend was full of a lot of poor decisions. This is a really long blow-by-blow so skip it if quotidian stuff is boring to you. I wrote to remind myself that one bad decision often leads to another in an effort to try to recoup the loss from the first mistake. And then sometimes fate just intervenes and you have to accept the loss in the name of fun and safety.

I feel bad for the commenter who says that their mom had bad things happen to them. That’s regretful. But an anecdote of one person doesn’t make for a national statistic of people who bit off more than they could chew with their mortgage. It’s shared blame, no doubt, but the first finger points directly to the person in the mirror.

Starting with Friday:
Friday was actually a very good day for financial decisions. I got a free lunch. I ate all my lunch food for the week. I went clubbing for free. I wasn’t on a guest list, but the email the DJ sent out said free before midnight. The bouncer tried to charge me $10. I told him no way. The email said free before midnight. He asked if I was on the guest list, I could get in for half. I said wasn’t on the guest list because the email said free before midnight. I stood my ground and didn’t pay a cover. A nonchalant attitude helps in psyching out the bouncer. I spent $7+tip on a cocktail, got two free sodas for tipping the bartender a dollar on one of them, and tipped the bathroom attendant $1, because it’s de rigeur (And I really hate doing this, but I hate even more the dirty look she gives when you don’t.) I spent $10 for the night. Sounds pretty good, huh?

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“Is Style Only for the Upper Class?” at The NYTimes.com

Q. While I always look at the section with interest, I sometimes can’t shake the feeling that Style is defined by any two of a writer’s friends with too much money and time on their hands. The “A Night Out With…” pieces, for instance, often suggest nightspots that most people couldn’t poke their noses in if they didn’t know the right people. Even some of the bylines of those articles reek of highfalutin-ness; how am I supposed to take an article seriously when it’s written “By Zo”? I don’t get the sense from your section that anyone who lives paycheck to paycheck has Style. Does “Style,” by definition, percolate downward from the upper class? And can it be affordable?

– John Dillon, New Haven

I didn’t care much for the NYT’s defensive answer. Here’s my take on it.

No. Style is not for the rich. It doesn’t have to be expensive. To me, style is different from fashion and it’s different from being trendy.

From Merriam Webster Online (one of my favorite reference sites):

Main Entry: 1style
Pronunciation: ’stI(-&)l
Function: noun

2 a : a distinctive manner of expression (as in writing or speech) b : a distinctive manner or custom of behaving or conducting oneself ; also : a particular mode of living c : a particular manner or technique by which something is done, created, or performed

4 : a distinctive quality, form, or type of something

5 a : the state of being popular : FASHION b : fashionable elegance c : beauty, grace, or ease of manner or technique

Looking for cheap silverware, dish sets? Fur coats? Try thrift stores. It takes a dedicated thrift store shopper to find good deals, but you can definitely save a lot of money.

My favorite trip was in San Francisco years ago when I lived with my sister. She sent me to Community Thrift in the Mission to shop for a dresser. I didn’t want to pay the prices they were asking for on dressers. ($400 when my sister said I should be able find one for $150, but those were the booming Internet years). I bought a full set of silverware and a nice tablecloth, which I still have. Its ugly brown stain is totally my fault, an accident with a pot of tea.

It’s not for everyone or everything, but many knitters like to find old sweaters they can unravel for nicer yarn, i.e. cashmere, or felt into mittens or bags.

As far as fur coats go, often times in a metropolitan area, there is one store in a chain of thrift stores that has all the luxury items. In SF, it was the West Portal Goodwill. In Baltimore, I think it’s the one in Reisterstown. I used to go to the SF store and look at the mink coats. I really like fur. I fantasize about mink coats when it’s 20F outside. They cost a tenth or less of the original price. They’re not well-stored, but if you want to look money, it’s not a bad place to start. We used to have ‘thrift store tuxedo’ parties in SF. The guys would find the ugliest ’70’s peach-colored tuxedos with light blue ruffled shirts to mismatch. Hideous, but lots of fun. Cheaper than going to a nightclub, that’s for sure!

Keep in mind that real people owned these clothes and so you might not find your size. Most fur wearers were plumpy and the coats were all too large for me. I could sure use a coat now. It’s horribly cold here now and I refuse to turn up the thermostat.

Oh! The point of this was not to ramble on about San Francisco memories, but to illuminate that you can find cool things for very cheap at thrift stores. Sometimes you have to dig, or visit regularly to see what’s new and special, but you can find stuff you NEED there, and not just stuff you WANT.