I know this article at SmartMoney is probably old hat by now. (It’s from January.) I ran across it in a waiting room the other day and it occurred to me that I’ve never really explained what’s going on between me and my boyfriend and living together.

I have a huge personal issue divulging stuff about my boyfriend in this blog because this blog is mine. If he wanted the world to know about himself, he’d start his own blog, therefore I don’t feel it’s up to me to tell everyone his business, even though he’s told me that it’s ok if I do.

After reading the SmartMoney article and realizing that Singles Awareness Day has just passed, I thought it might be a good time to explain a few things about our situation.

1. Salary Parity: My boyfriend and I make about $10K apart in salary. One really well-negotiated salary bump, or super-duper bonus, and I just might make more than he does. What does this mean? It means we are within spitting distance of being a $200K couple which is weird for both of us, having grown up without a whole lot of money.

2. Real Estate: We decided to live together partly because it made sense for our relationship, but partly because it made sense financially. My condo was empty and a cash flow drain, so I filled it up with a tenant and moved into a home my boyfriend owns. After some discussion, we decided to move into a rental home in a different part of town. (Rowdy neighbors drove us away.) My boyfriend owns two homes and now he rents them out. We own three properties between us, but don’t live in any of them. This also means we own properties in all three of DC’s regional jurisdictions. (Hey, I just noticed that!)

3. Accounting & Household Expenses: I was watching Suze Orman’s show the other night and her method of reducing money woes for couples is to jointly contribute to household expenses based on your percentage of total household income. Therefore if I make 40% and my boyfriend makes 60%, we should split our expenses via the same ratio. We, however, do not believe in that. My boyfriend and I have a philosophical difference between us, like yin and yang, we are opposites. He is a big-picture kind of person and is not bothered with small details. I have been trained to account down to the penny on a professional basis from reconciling accounts at work. Therefore we blend household expense splitting between my desire to do things to the penny and his desire not to think about trivialities. For our major expenses at home (rent + utilities), we split them 50-50. I try to get him to fill out our spreadsheet with exact bill amounts, but he rounds it down usually. I tolerate this because it’s not like he’s rounding it down to the nearest $100.00. It’s more like the nearest $5.00. For things like groceries, we just try to alternate between trips. For small household furnishings, who pays is decided by who wants it. I bought a mixer for the kitchen (~$120), whereas he bought the exercise bike (~$800).

But take that with a grain of salt. Since we make very close to parity in salary, it is easy to do things 50-50. Who knows what we’ll do if I ever got laid off.

4. Debt: Along with our diametrically opposing views on accounting, he also disagrees with me on savings and debt. This was highlighted by an episode of Til Debt Do Us Part. Gail Vaz-Oxlade had on a couple, two teachers in Canada, and I thought the husband was a d-bag. (A properly ’80’s term that boyfriend uses all the time, but it is quite the bon mot for this guy.) The husband’s philosophy was that the time to live is now and he wasn’t interested in having a weekend job to pay off debt faster since that was his time to be with his baby daughter and family. My boyfriend agrees that it’s important to balance life out between work and leisure and he’d make that same choice. I pointed out the reason that he wasn’t a d-bag like the guy on the program was that he doesn’t gamble *coughthrowaway* money. (It was for $9K!!! *choke*) I’ve had second jobs before so I understand the position. It’s just that I know my boyfriend is totally different than the guy on TV because he’s very careful about how he spends his money. He does a lot of research on products he wants to buy before purchasing, or else he’s ok with generic brands way more than I am. (I *must* have my premium brand orange juice or go without.)

5. Saving: Boyfriend doesn’t save as much as I think he should, but the flipside is that he has tenants buying his properties for him, which is sort of like saving. Sort of. We differ on the idea of an emergency fund too, but he’s not going to stand in the way of me getting a good sleep at night with a full Save-O-Meter. He was really patient watching me agonize over buying a car, how much to spend and how much to finance. He also knows good blog fodder when he sees it and helps me run financial models/numbers and checks my math.

6. Retirement: My boyfriend works for the government so he’s going to get a decent pension when he retires. Because there’s no pension waiting for me, I think that’s why he is nonchalant about retirement saving and I am freaking out.

The main thing is that we communicate out differences of opinion and where we are at. We also maintain control over the majority of our own finances and try to take care of our own business with minimal impact on the other person. Later on this may all change, a conversation we’ve had before, but it works for us. We have a sense of one another’s debts and assets. One day we may align our financial goals together but we’re not in any kind of rush for that.

His, Mine, Ours is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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I was watching the A&E Hoarders program in utter horror. Meanwhile, I was going through some old papers getting them ready to shred. I had a hefty pile for the shredder and another pile for the trash bin. (The city recycling bins have not yet arrived, and for some reason DC is extremely picky. No envelopes with plastic windows.)

Observations:

1. I fear becoming a hoarder. I wrote a post about hoarding vs stocking up a long time ago. Boyfriend and I had several conversations about my bulk buying/stockpiling. I had to explain to him that part of the reason why I have too much of some stuff is because I didn’t know what I had where before we consolidated to one residence. On other stuff that I stockpiled and was careful to manage, I haven’t wasted money buying more and I’m pretty good about letting it get used up. (Like being down to our last toilet paper roll before buying more.) Sorry, but it took my 5 years to use up a 12-pack of paper towels at my apartment because I usually use a cloth towel.

2. I found the original purchase document for my Altima when I bought out the lease. It was $15,802.88. Of which my parents gave me $5K to put down as a downpayment. (Yes, along with being accused of self-absorption, I am a spoiled princess. Yeah, I know.) I believe the original lease price was about $22K, of which I paid about 2.5 years on lease.

Then I shredded that document after noting the price in a post for posterity. *laugh*

Shredding Party Saturday Night is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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Do you ever say to yourself, “I have one somewhere. I just have to find it. If I can’t, I’ll buy another one.”

What do you in response to that?

Do you take the time to find it?
Do you go ahead and buy another one?

Do you ever stop to ask yourself, “Why can’t I find this?”

I’ve been thinking long and hard on this one as I unpack my stuff. I’ve moved twice in 60 days and I no longer have the contents of boxes memorized. When people asked me to post a photo of the vase for the Coin Jar Giveaway, I’m embarassed to admit that I can’t. I cannot find my digital camera because it’s somewhere. I just don’t know where that is.

This is a temporary condition for me. I have very good reason why I can’t find things because of moving. But what about you? How long have you been living in one place and then find yourself unable to find stuff when you need it?

Getting organized is a huge part of saving money because it keeps you from getting to that second statement, “If I can’t, I’ll buy another one.”

Maybe I’ll get around to writing some posts about being organized. Maybe not. I should be unpacking. Then I won’t forgetting my knitting again for my weekly group. (That’s 2 weeks in a row I forgot to take it with me because I am unorganized right now.)

Some good posts on financial organization:
Get Rich Slowly – How to Organize Your Finances in Four Easy Steps
NCN Blog – Bills-In-A-Box: The Stress-Free System For Organizing Your Finances (5 parts. It’s kind of long!)
SunTrust Bank – Organizing Records and Budgeting
All Financial Matters – Your Home Files – Organizing Your Finances (Also 5 parts)

Recognizing You Have A Problem is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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I am a worry wart. I’ve always been this way. I embrace it because I’m not changing. I’ve *tried* to change and the best thing I can do is accept it and deal with it in a positive way.

Now David at MoneyNing has a great post about How Not to Worry About Money. (Hat tip to JD for pointing it out.) He’s got a few good coping strategies, but here’s my take.

1. Save money for nothing. By doing that, you have freedom to deal with an emergency that would create stress and worry. I say ‘nothing’ because it’s money you’re socking away that could be for a splurge or emergency. Either way, saving is a great way to alleviate worries. There’s a study that says people who have $500 saved sleep better at night.

2. Budget and figure out what you’re spending. Having control of your expenses will make you feel like you can handle anything that comes your way when prices fluctuate. Controlling what you can control instead of what you can’t, focuses your energy in a positive way. Spending is a choice and making better choices will help you feel more confident.

3. Live Below Your Means. This isn’t just the obvious statement of spending less than you earn. It also means increasing your means too. Maximize your income by doing what you need to do, whether it’s taking classes or forcing yourself to network even if you’re preternaturally shy.

4. Have a plan. The time to plan for an emergency is when you’re not having one. The combines with #1 and #2. If you can forecast what your expenses are and shift things around when you need it. A plan in place will help you handle a crisis when it happens. You’ll just make a small adjustment rather than drastically alter your life.

5. Enjoy your money. This is kind of hard for me. I am agonizing over getting a new car. I can’t just spend my money without thinking about it. But avoid analysis paralysis and realize that you *can* buy happiness if something makes you joyful. It just helps if you can pay cash for it upfront rather than think about it every month when you send a check out.

So those are the 5 things that help me worry less and enjoy more. From a die-hard worry wart, that’s pretty good advice.

Worrying About Money is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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Or is it “What Do You Have and Why Do You Have It?”

Since I’ve been packing my stuff these past few weeks, I’ve been asking myself, “Why do I have this?” I’m not that great at throwing stuff out once the clutter has built up. My filing system is a mess because I’ve been ignoring my papers in the past year of dating and staying intermittently at my boyfriend’s place.

But as I look at each item, I try to remember when I got it and why I got it. There are some items that were random gifts I received or gifts I bought and never gave. I look at what ugly crap it is and I am glad to be throwing it out. Where did all this stuff come from and why did I let it into my house?

I’ve moved cross-country twice and if my grand plans work out, there will be at least one more move. I look at my stuff and I think, “I am definitely not moving this *again*.” As much as I love my old roommate from college, I think I can give away the votive candle and matching vase she gave me for Christmas our senior year. It matches my Ralph Lauren bed linens, which I still have, but I’m retiring the set to the storage closet and the ceramics can go to Goodwill. Frankly I cannot remember anything I gave to her 10+ years ago, so I feel this is ok to do. More than likely she has also gotten rid of anything I gave her too and that thought does not bother me at all. (We’ve lost touch.)

Boyfriend and I prepped a box of stuff like my extra toaster (his is better), his hand mixer (mine was better), a CD player boyfriend didn’t want, etc. We put it on the street with a sign that said ‘Free’ and the gods of the city took them away while were at a hockey game on Saturday. It’s nice to sacrifice stuff to the gods of the city. I hope this means good parking karma for the rest of the year.

I’ve already made 2 trips to Goodwill. I’m not bothering with receipts much because I just need it to be gone!

BTW, the title of this post comes from the Schwarzenegger movie, The Running Man. But it was sampled by The Messiah for a song, Temple of Dreams. (Which surprisingly my boyfriend with the encyclopedic knowledge of dance music had never heard before. I rarely can stump him on a song, so I am triumphant. It’s one of my favorites.) This is what happens when you get an earworm. You write a post!

Who Loves You and Who Do You Love? is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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Normally, I probably wouldn’t post this, except it’s local news of national interest and it comes as news on the heels of another suicide on the periphery of my life and another debt-related suicide in suburban DC.

If you haven’t heard, the acting CFO of Freddie Mac was discovered dead. Preliminary reports are of suicide.

The Washington Post has better coverage and more complete context for the story. He seemed like a pretty decent person, working as a volunteer board member for a homeless organization in DC.

Please. If you need help, call someone. Mrs. Micah had an excellent, very personal post about this subject after the House episode with a suicide theme. There are resources there you can call which I have re-posted here because I know that it’s hard to click through and pick up the phone and dial when you’re not in the right state of mind but still need help.

If you need someone to talk to, you can call: 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255 (in the States) or 08457 90 90 90 (in the UK) or check out http://www.befrienders.org/. Or if you don’t feel you can speak about it, you can e-mail with: jo@samaritans.org (these e-mails will be answered by a real person, so there can be a delay). These people can also help you find support in your local area.

RIP Mr. Kellerman is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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I know I’m not going to lose my job any time soon, but I am anxious. Very anxious. I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I am not as secure as I’d like. But the weird thing is that my job is secure. I am doing well at work and the way things on my project are going, I’ll be gainfully employed for at least another 12 months. No layoff for me barring some serious breakdown in civil society.

And yet I am going crazy. I’m strategizing how to save money and turning off my home phone service and DSL line. I just bought a netbook for cheap (just over $400) so I can keep it at boyfriend’s place. (There’s another post coming tomorrow about this.)

I am paying cash for my plane tickets to California. (Actually on a charge plate with a long float. Same on the netbook.)

I’m cashing out all my savings and tossing it at debt.

I’m eating cheaply for lunches at work because the guys are all brown bagging it for various personal reasons and we’ve stopped going out every day. (Buying engagement ring, wedding, first time home buying, etc.)

I’m selling hockey tickets and making money to pay for my other tickets.

I’m actually doing great myself on my regular savings plans and yet, I feel like it’s all a mess.

It’s very weird. I guess I should just ignore the news and markets and just keep on doing what I’m doing. The only investment change I’ve made is to buy a slightly better bond fund in my 401k plan than the one I have. I’m holding onto everything I already have to collect the dividends, and riding out the storm.

False Sense of Insecurity is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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Fortunately, not me. But Shana Madoff, whose uncle has robbed her of her wealth. Her husband’s character is being called into question and it’s a royal mess. Was she complicit as a compliance officer in said hedge fund? I don’t know.

But sadly, it’s not the only case I’ve ever heard of one family member cheating another one.

Years ago I dated someone who did alright in the IPO lottery, i.e. take one nerd, countless late nights of programming, and one S-1 filing, stir, and go public. He cashed out his stock options when he had the chance and left his winnings in the seemingly capable hands of his best friend’s wife’s sister. So did the best friend who was his coding partner-in-crime. In fact, the best friend also put his father’s retirement money into the hands of the wife’s sister. And then this sister-in-law effed it all up with mismangement, ignoring specific instructions *in writing* not to trade in certain stocks or industries.

My ex-boyfriend realized what was happening much too late. The best friend and his father also lost money. The wife is mad at her sister, with good reason. The life of leisure she wanted with her husband is over. (The marriage is surviving, but she went back to work.) NASD arbitration did very little to discipline the sister for ignoring her clients’ instructions and my ex-boyfriend and the father did their best to recover funds, but not without a lot of legal fees cutting into the proceeds.

I don’t know. This seems crazy. This is why I am afraid of letting someone else manage my money. It’s why I try to trade some stocks on my own, though the majority are in mutual funds. I know one too many CFA’s from the drinking circuit to know that I think they’re shady people and my best interests are not their best interests sometimes and when it comes to brass tacks, I will be the loser.

Cheated By Family is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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Everywhere in the blogosphere you’ll see people writing about finances and couples. The advice is the same, to be honest, etc.

Here’s the thing. How can two people who spend lots of time together, NOT talk about their finances?

My boyfriend can read about my finances just by reading my blog. That’s an unusual case to be sure. It’s not something to mention on a first date. But even if I didn’t run this blog, I think he’d have a pretty good idea of where I stand. When I look around my apartment and see the repairs I have to make on the place, I generally wonder out loud how I’m going to take care of it and ask his input on some of my ideas for fixing stuff. Usually he’s got an idea of what stuff costs and his own ideas about what he’d do if he were me.

Generally speaking, I probably overshare about this subject because usually my significant other has a clue about my state of affairs. I need to bounce stuff off other people to get different perspectives. I guess I’d trust my boyfriend about this sort of thing because I usually date someone financially responsible. (And the current boyfriend thinks I obsess about finances. I laugh and tell him he should be glad, else I’d turn all my obsessiveness 100% onto him. He laughs, but perhaps slightly nervously.)

The only time I really didn’t share was when I was embarrassed about my credit card debt about 8 years ago. Even then, that boyfriend wheedled it out of me because we were talking about being serious and where we stood with our student loans. Eventually, that information was going to come out anyway. I suppose the lesson learned there is that I don’t want to be blindsided by dating someone with lots of uncontrolled debt either.

The only other serious boyfriend with whom I had real difficulty discussing this topic didn’t have a job. And that squelches just about all conversations related to money. Even so, we still talked about it but in different terms. He’s one of the people who encouraged me to start this blog as a outlet maybe as a deflection from himself. But also because he didn’t have anything to offer me except to get out of credit card debt. (He had none, but only because his parents made a clean slate for him and he never bothered with credit since.)

I guess a lot of my discussions about money with boyfriends have been problem solving sessions. Not so much geared towards how to cover all my bills, but how to get special projects paid (Vacations, renovations, etc.). I’m not looking to have my boyfriend fix my problems, but help me brainstorm a solution that’s workable and be supportive of my goals.

Is it because I work daily in a collaborative environment that I don’t think hiding information is a good thing? Is it because I have no shame? Is it because I’ve seen what ugly things money secrets do to families? It’s probably all those things combined. Maybe I have less fear about other people’s judgments now that I’m older and maybe I have less fear because I’m not as bad off as I was before. But either way, it’s still unfathomable that someone picking a life partner wouldn’t have a clue to these sorts of things.

How Could You NOT Talk About It? is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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Have you ever heard this phrase before? If you have, it was probably in Economics 101 at school. I heard it over and over again in Macroeconomics 101 my freshman year of college and frankly, it grew tiresome.

However, the other concept I learned that year which I really like, is Utility. What is the utility of an item and how does it give it value?

Take the current price of gas and people driving SUV’s. Or any expensive car for that matter.

A few years ago, I really really really wanted a BMW 318ti. The ti is the Touring International model, a coupe with sunroof, appropriate for me to buy used and trash on camping trips. They don’t make them anymore and you can only get them used now. Pricing was about $13K for a certified used model back then. However, I decided against it for several reasons.

1. The current car still had a lot of life left in it.
2. Spare parts would be expensive on a German car vs. my Japanese sedan.

ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL, there really wasn’t a point in buying another car. It’s because things were inherently unequal that the coupe was looking like more fun than the sedan I had. (and still have. I still run this conversation in my head all the time.)

All things being equal, a car is a car. Its main utility is to get you from Point A to Point B in relative safety and comfort. All the extra bells and whistles don’t really add to the main point of the car. The car is a people mover. That’s it. Stripped down to its core, all you need is to get from one place to another with a car. So why spend more for it?

Well, people were looking beyond the utility of the car. They stopped making all things equal and discriminated on all the features of the car and came up with the SUV as a better choice. For some reason, being in a light truck mattered. I don’t really know why since they tend to rollover more in accidents. They consume more gas. There are luxurious sedans with GPS. What was it that made SUV’s no longer equal and thus more desirable? It certainly wasn’t the price tag, or the cheap gas. Because gas at $3 is not cheap when you remember it being 99 cents.

Still not sure why an SUV is so great. I don’t begrudge people who take theirs off-road (like the Hummer driver at work who actually had mud on his car on Mondays) or need 4WD and lots of cargo space or high clearance. (Goat farmer friends, friends living on the side of a mountain in the woods, etc.) But when all things are truly equal, why an SUV?

When all things are truly equal, why a new TV? A new car? A new cellphone?

I’m just sayin’. It’s something to think about when you’re buying something new. It’s not just ‘Do I really need this?’ It’s also, ‘What is the point of this? Can I get the same utility out of what I have already or a cheaper model?’ Sometimes you have to ask yourself what sufficient is, rather than the outer limits of your desires.

All Things Being Equal is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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I’m learning how to be more ruthless throwing stuff away. I’ve watched my boyfriend clean up his house. He’s extremely tidy. He doesn’t keep paper around. He shreds it or throws it away immediately. He does not sweat the small stuff. I think the only receipts he saves are for taxes. If it’s not tax deductible, returnable or otherwise important, out it goes. It makes me wonder why I keep every single damned receipt I ever got.

While I’ve been happy in some instances to go back 4 years to dig up a receipt for something, I think I’ve only ever done that to research the original cost of an item for my blog. So why on earth do I keep it? I just don’t know and now that I know I don’t know, I can throw it out. (Or file it away so I can throw it out in 3 years?)

There are a great many things I’ve been looking at in my apartment, wondering why I have them or have so many. But that’s a revisit of some of my old hoarding posts.

Questions to ask when cleaning stuff up:
1. Are you going to need this within a month?
2. If you get rid of it, will you regret it? Why?
3. Can you replace it and will that cost you a lot?
4. What is the utility of this item? Has its usefulness expired?
5. Can you sell it or donate it?
6. Do you want to give it away on Freecycle or send it to the dumpster?
7. Are you really going to do something with it? If so, you have 30 days. Do not lie to yourself here and make up a future possible reason for something.
8. If I were moving cross-country, would I take this with me? (Done it twice and it does crystalize priorities.)

I find those seven questions to be useful when I’m feeling merciless about cleaning and throwing stuff away. What kinds of questions do you ask yourself when you are cleaning up?

Cleaning Up Is Hard To Do is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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I keep telling myself that what goes down must go up….right?! -SavingDiva

Sadly, no. The market doesn’t have to do anything. You’re applying the law of gravity to something dependent on the rationality or the irrationality of human beings. Physics and Investing only have high end mathematics in common. Even so, investing can be completely subverted by crazy investors. (“Irrational exuberance” anyone?)

What you really need to do is stop and assess what is happening to your investments and why. I ask myself this stuff all the time.

Am I in solid investments that will really rebound in the next 5 years? Or will they stay flat or take a turn for the worse?

Am I in it for the long haul? If so, is this just a minor road bump or a major impasse?

I kept thinking that “what must go down must go up” during the dot-com boom years and quite horrifically, I was mistaken. I lost my proverbial shirt in the process and about $4K. Luckily, time was on my side and I’ve only recovered by doing a lot of savings.

One thing I’ll tell anyone is that selling means you’ll never make money again on that investment. You’ve locked in your losses by selling. But if you’re alternative investment is a winner, maybe that’s not so bad. That’s the reasoning behind selling off crap investments in my old 401k and shifting it to BRK.B. If I had dumped it all in pink sheet stocks, that would have been a disaster. (As it is, I’m now holding TXN and GE in long positions. Not too much, just swept up what cash was leftover from the BRK.B buy.)

In reply to Andrew and Mrs. Micah’ comments about BRK.B and how much to buy, FWIW I’m holding 70% of my investment portfolio those shares. I know that is a crazy amount, but Berkshire Hathaway does not sell its investments, so it’s akin almost to holding a specialized industry index fund, so I do not look upon it as an active trading portfolio investment. Therefore it’s in that 90% I let other people manage, which is the same advice Mr. Buffett recommends. I know that’s a bit crazy to hold so much of any one thing, but I’m putting away regular 401k savings and that should eventually even things out over time. I don’t plan on buying any more Berkshire Hathaway stock, not even the A shares.

Market Thinking: Unwarranted Optimism is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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1. I really want to be home at my condo. I miss it. But walking in there while it’s still under renovation depresses me. It also doesn’t help that I nearly had an asthma attack the other night because of all the dust. The contractor did not tape off the hallway as I requested. He left a 3-inch gap at the top. I’m actually quite angry about that. I told him repeatedly that I could not and would not clean up the cave-in and dry wall myself because I feared an asthma attack.

2. Because I can’t be home, I feel like I’m out of control with my finances. I rely on Quicken to help me plan out my spending. I open it up every few days, if not every day, and update the balances. Access to my desktop is key for good financial management. I am veritably crawling the walls because I am addicted to my finances. It’s partially why I am hoarding cash like crazy. I was a little afraid of sending my federal tax refund to my credit card company but I looked a Quicken on Monday night and see that it’s ok. BOOM! That’s $2500 I can pay off this month. All the rest of the cash I’m hoarding is for my contractor.

3. I feel fat. I may not LOOK fat, but I can’t fit into my Lilly skirt (purchased 2 yrs ago). I was hoping to wear it to a beach-side wedding last month, but I had to settle for an odd fitting dress. Way to go. All my pants are cutting into my stomach at work while I’m sitting. I am constantly uncomfortable. I admit, I haven’t made a lot of effort here since frankly I am lazy and exercise isn’t on the menu. My own vanity is getting the best of me and my wallet.

BLAH. June will be better. I can feel it.

Frustrations is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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And I hate it even more when my posts get eaten by the system.

I just realized that Monday is payday for me. I get paid on the last day of the month this month.

Sux0rs.

I don’t mind getting paid after Wednesday, but getting my check on Monday or Tuesdays stinks. I pay myself an allowance on Fridays so I can frugalize during the work week if I over spent on the weekend. If I pay myself early in the week, it sucks to frugalize on the weekend if I spent too much during the week. My mental spending plan runs from Friday to Thursday.

I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way.

Who else prefers to be paid later in the week? Does it effect how you spend?

I Hate Payday Mondays is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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Stop for a moment. Think about your life without ice cubes. Without cold beer. Without convenient frozen dinners. I perish at the thought!

A few weeks ago while I was home with my mom and dad, we were talking about breakfast. My mom has this prune and honey spread she and my dad like to eat on toast. I don’t quite know how to describe it. It’s basically some fresh onion pureed with some dried prunes. Then you mix in some honey and let it ferment for about a month. When you taste it, it’s sweet and slightly savory without the harsh bite of raw onion. Fascinating, but I also instantly got an allergic reaction to the fruit in it. My mom likes it because she can make it in small batches and put in an old jam jar and it keeps without refrigeration.

My folks grew up without refrigeration in pre-war Korea. Visiting the old farmstead where my father lived, it’s not hard to see that there wasn’t electricity running to the house. Visiting Korean Folk Village (kind of the Colonial Williamsburg of Korea with re-enactors, etc.), my mom clapped her hands with joy over an old provincial farmhouse which she said was just like where she grew up. I was agog at the huge ceramic amphorae buried underground for long-term kimchee storage. (Amphora is probably a bad term for them since they technically aren’t Greek and don’t store wine, but I digress.)

Years ago while on a work project, my sibling was working on a home in West Virgina for an old lady who had no refrigeration in the house. The resident still kept her perishable items in the cold mountain stream out back of the house. This was in the late 1980’s. I don’t know if that lady ever got refrigeration, but it surprises me that she lived that way. I cannot tell if it was poverty or a choice. Given the work project criteria for selecting homes to fix, probably the latter compounded by the former.

Conceptually, I think it’s hard for people to grasp what it’s like to live without refrigeration. I know there is a simple pleasure to popping open a can of chilled mandarin oranges on a hot summer day. (One of the few fruits I can eat.) I have been contemplating my mom’s onion, prune and honey spread for a few days and I can only think that the natural anti-microbial properties of onion and honey must do some sort of natural preservation.

Sometimes I like to think about how people lived without the modern conveniences of the 20th and 21st centuries. I try to appreciate what it is that I have and remember what is non-essential about life and living. Counting our blessings in a way, I suppose. Next time I look at a super charged Audi A3 fully loaded at nearly $35K, I will have to remember that I really don’t need a car like that. My Altima still gets me from Point A to Point B reliably.

Living Without Refrigeration is a post from: Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge

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