DogAtMyFinances writes “I think you would know before you’re even close to that level of hoarding, right? I mean, if nothing else, they had a lot more space to fill with thrift store junk and a lot more time to go to thrift stores.”
My reply is, “I don’t know.”
I truly do not know thee answer to this because I’ve got a friend who has a completely packed home on the first floor. I rarely go upstairs or downstairs in the place so I can’t even say what’s there.
There is no intention to collect like this. I think it starts small and it’s not always collecting in a purposeful way. I have a lot of yarn, which I save and try to use up, but the reality is that I haven’t bought any yarn in about 2 or 3 years, and yet, it doesn’t look like I’ve made a dent in my stash at all. In the articles I’ve read about hoarding, people who are compulsive hoarders have a problem getting rid of stuff, like moldy food or old phone books. I’d like to think I keep useful stuff, but then you realize that hoarders believe in their own minds that the stuff they keep has a purpose. What that purpose is, I have no idea. My boyfriend has given me looks like I’m crazy for keeping stuff when I’m using the same rationale. It’s good to have someone else around to keep you in check.
I think the bigger issue is why a person can’t get rid of stuff. It’s not just the perceived purpose the stuff has. It’s also making imaginary obstacles to getting rid of things. For instance, I’ve been driving around for the past month with a box and bag of clothes for Goodwill in my trunk. I don’t travel past Goodwill and I haven’t made going there a priority. Once I do, that will be fine. But I know I’m waiting partly because I’m going to make another donation box soon. But that’s a really silly reason not to go. I should just go.
If you talk to someone like this, they do make some elaborate reasons why stuff hasn’t left their home yet. It’s a mental habit they have to break whether it’s with the help of a friend or a shrink.
For me, I probably was getting to this point because my condo was so tiny it couldn’t fit all my stuff. It didn’t help that I had a treadmill in it. In the end, it had to leave my condo because I couldn’t walk around it easily and I wasn’t using it. But I’m on a kick to get rid a lot of stuff, whether it’s donated, given away or thrown out. Settling into one spot like a barnacle is a big problem because hoarders never see how much stuff it is that they have. They never go through the logistics of moving to realize the pointlessness of keeping so much stuff.
I vow to get rid of more stuff. The question I ask myself now is, “Do I want to move this with me to California?” That question alone helps me figure it out. If that doesn’t work for you, try this one, “If the house was on fire, would this be something I’d take with me?”
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
are you moving to California?? Or is that hypothetical?
My first 9 years out of college, I moved 8 times, including cross-country. Those moves guaranteed a lot of weeding of my belongings, for sure.
Then I stayed put for 4 years before moving out of state (to California), and I’ve been in the same apartment here for three years. I noticed that I’m in danger of growing weird little piles of stuff I walk around instead of deal with, and wonder if this is the first step down a long slide to total chaos. So far I’ve eventually made myself deal with the stuff…except the suitcase with a broken handle I’ve needed to deal with since, um.. May at least.
I might be a hoarder (of clothes at least)–I need to weed out stuff too as I’ve lived in the same place for 4 years and will be moving at the end of next month. And eventually, I will be moving back to California myself (I’m in Mass right now). That’s going to be a pain.
Some of my favorite people are hoarders. They know they’re hoarding, kind of, but don’t see it as a problem, other than one of needing more space. That part drives me nuts: you need less stuff, not more house!!
But I don’t live there and I was a binge/purge hoarder in past days. Seems like you just have to get to that point where you want more space around you than you want to have stuff. NO idea if you can ever really instigate that sort of change for another person, though.
I have moved so many times over the years that I have had to purge all the unnecessary crap that usually piles up when you live in one place too long. My husband, however, has not moved as much as me and I consider him to be a pack rat. He drives me crazy with his piles of stuff he’ll never get to. We live in a 1550sq ft house. It is plenty big enough for the two of us and our three animals if we just purge and get rid of useless stuff. Was I ranting? I’m a fan of simplicity
Thank you, Suzanne