I know it’s hard for the DC PF Bloggers to believe, but I am a shy person. When playing hostess for happy hour, I’m all hale and hearty to make everyone feel welcome. It’s not a crippling shyness, but I definitely have a lot of anxiety about strangers.
In truth, I am a misanthrope and I dislike talking to strangers. I am beside myself at parties and work functions, speaking only to people I already know. When I am done talking to all of them, I leave. This is even at events with alcohol, the social lubricant.
So if you need help like me check out this article from the NYTimes found via Lifehacker. It has advice for networking for shy people, or really anyone.
Best tip with my own emphasis:
Keith Ferrazzi, author of the new book “Who’s Got Your Back” (Broadway Business ), suggests that you not even think of what you are doing as networking.“All you are doing is looking to build authentic relationships,” he says. “What I have found is helpful, when going into a room, is to think of just two words: ‘care’ and ‘help.’ I try to find someone I can care about and someone I can help, both broadly defined. Both of these give me the courage I need to truly connect.”
I think that says it all. Build authentic relationships. Ultimately that is the way to build any relationship, professional, personal or even transactional. No, I don’t want to get into a 15 minute conversation with the 7-11 clerk when I run in to get a gallon of milk. On the other hand, talking to the owner of a small shop regularly can turn into a great friendship and you can enrich your life so much more than monetarily.
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Excellent! And I love the way you are at happy hours
It’s unfortunate I’ll be missing the next one…
J. Money – I am only there to entertain you. I assure you, b/c you are missing the next HH, I will be far less amusing for everyone else. lol
One of the ways I got over my shyness was thinking about it logically.
I was actively trying to speak to other people and they would never speak back. Thus, I was the person who was being more social than everybody else.
When I tried to make friends and relationships elsewhere, that’s when I noticed the difference. These people actually spoke back to me!
It was actually the place I tried to make friends. The whole atmosphere was almost completely anti-social. When I moved somewhere else, though, it was the complete opposite.