I love this article. Onto my snarky two cents.
Steam Shower – Someone at work wants one. Back in the 1980’s all the rage amongst my parents’ Korean friends were sauna cabinets at home. Everyone got one but us, and my parents are happy they kept their powder room. You just won’t use it like you think you will, unless you are always sore from working out. (My co-worker goes religiously.)
Commercial-Grade Stove – Every professional chef I know never cooks at home. I don’t cook that much at home. Why get a Viking when a regular old range will do? Have you ever seen Mark Bittman’s home kitchen? If my best friend can bake bread in the dorm common kitchen, your Sears Kenmore stove should be just fine for you too.
Linen Cocktail Napkins – Crate and Barrel pushing useless crap on you. Seriously, just get some nice coasters. I know a lot of kindergartners who can make some for you out of needlepoint and plastic canvas for cheap!
Cashmere and Mohair Throws – This one bugs me because my friend is a goat farmer and her mohair is top-notch. (Award winning!) But sadly, even this is probably overkill if what you want is a cozy blankie for watching TV. Handwashing a whole blanket is not fun for you or at your dry cleaner.
Lawn Games – Mixed bag on this one. As kids we played croquet all the time. Nothing like hitting someone into the next lawn. But if you didn’t play it a lot as kids, you probably won’t enjoy it much as an adult. (FWIW, there was also a horseshoe court in another neighbor’s yard and we played on that, the monkey bars and swings, etc. We were very active kids. Stress on ‘kids’.)
Soft-Serve Ice Cream Maker – Word to the wise. Soft serve is cheap ice cream. The warmer temperature is what makes it soft. Can’t understand why you’d make cheap ice cream at home when you can get pints for less than $3 at the supermarket in better flavors.
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I quibble with a couple of these. Paper napkins are evil–I have and use linen and cotton napkins because green is good and cheap. And bocce rocks–I play it often. I’ll play it this weekend if I can convince the house guests to join me. Playing actual games in the actual outdoors is good.
Lanea – I offered an alternative of coasters. I agree that linen and cotton napkins are good, but do you really iron yours, or do you shake them out from the dryer and promptly fold?
You can invite me over for bocce ANYTIME. All you suburbanites. Hoarding your lawns to yourselves!
I’d kill for a high end, mega burner stove and 2 ovens, because I cook all the time (corporate cog the rest of the time). So extra burners = more fun