Let it be known, that St. Valentine, is not my favorite saint. I’m just saying. It’s a dumb holiday. I can say that as someone who has a sweetie pie this year so that remark comes from the afterglow of a pretty awesome Thursday.

Last night I spent the best Valentine’s Day in the last 10 years, if not ever. I dislike Valentine’s Day since it’s always been Bitter Singleton Day for me. Rarely have I had a significant other in mid-winter, when I’m at my grouchiest. However, this year, I cut a deal. We do nothing for Valentine’s Day and go all out for my birthday in a few weeks. Boyfriend was down with this idea.

About a week ago, some friends of mine in a dancing troupe made the Washington Post’s Valentine’s Day guide. Their regular monthly gig happened to fall on Valentine’s Day and they had a sold out show. Since these are folks with whom I used to dance, I really wanted to see them perform in this new venue. Even if last night was not a holiday, we would have gone to the show.

Tickets were $10 apiece. After a lovely home cooked Indian meal, we headed out and had a great time. The Palace of Wonders is pretty cheap and 4 beers were $20 including the exorbitant tip of $4. (Walk up, get two beers for $8 bucks and leave the bartender the change. Hey, they’re probably friends of friends. No need to be stingy.)

I did a meet and greet afterwards with everyone. I’ve been so busy blogging the last two years and focused on some other interests that folks are always glad to see me. I made plans for Saturday in Philadelphia after visiting my folks (scrounging tickets for an event). Then we headed back into the cold to go home.

Twenty bucks for two advance tickets on a sold out show is alright by me. Boyfriend bought the beers. Having fun trying my hand at Indian cooking is good stuff. I didn’t even have to clean it up!

What’s on deck for my birthday? Reservations at Les Halles! (We like Anthony Bourdain’s show, No Reservations. So it’s kind of a corny joke to us.)

I just heard that an old family friend and his wife just had a boy. To acknowledge the life event, I sent something from their registry. It was the least I could do. This friend is a doctor and was a great help to me during my dad’s hospital stay in 2006. Even though we’re not really close, I still think of him as a brother in many ways because he’s always there to help when it comes to my parents. Though my sibling and I live far away from him, we always try to acknowledge important life events. I cannot remember a time in my life when I did not know him so I’m really thrilled he’s getting a family started.

I took the time since I was on the Babies R Us website to buy for a baby shower in a few weeks. I figured I should kill two birds with one stone. If you are making a present for someone’s shower, do you buy an additional gift? I personally dislike doing that, but this friend of mine is not someone with whom I trade lots of presents during the year. We give little token gifts, like yarn from our stash or handmade cards. Nothing huge.

I spent about $100 total on all gifts including shipping and taxes. Don’t even ask me what I spent on the gift I’m making. DIY is not cheap but there’s love in every stitch and frankly, I’m so freakin’ smug at the perfectness of this gift (in concept, execution, not so much) that I’m just happy she’s going to love it. (I cannot divulge till after it’s done.)

Now, onto the business of a bachelorette party. Fun as it sounds, it’s out of town and I was balking at going because I don’t know anyone anymore in Boston who has room to host me. Then I read the invitation much more closely. The organizers are getting a crash pad at a hotel. This changes everything. Now I’m only looking at a crazy bar tab, part of a hotel bill, shuttle flight and incidentals.

Very few friends of mine have gotten married. They have, but usually I was living too far away from them to partake in things like a bachelorette party. I think this will be the first big bachelorette party I’ve ever done in my life. The bride is someone I greatly admire and I’ve always heard tons of stuff about her old college friends, but I’ve never met them before. It feels right to do this trip. I just hope that no one else gets married in 2008 or else I am screwed. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to visit my nephews in CA this year with all the wedding stuff that’s planned.

I must remember that life is all about choices. Hard choices, but choices with which I can live.

So I did one last trip. I had given myself a budget of $1000, but I ended up breaking it. I spent another ~$251 on two more suits. That is $1000 on four suits, $15 on a pair of shoes, $20 on tights, ~$80 on two dresses and ~$40 on a new pair of earrings. Add on ~$40 in tailoring and that’s $1195 total, all paid in cash, cash equivalents, or credit with rewards and paid in full.

My only saving grace is that I did buy some stuff on sale and I do not need a great many shirts to wear under my suits to round out the stuff I have.

The last two suits are a Kasper ASL suit in dark navy with electric blue pinstripes. It’s a 3 pc with a hideous electric blue blouse, but it looks ok on me as long as I don’t look down. It’ll burn out my retinas. The other suit is a a very demur black/olive tweedy fabric skirt suit. It’s got 3/4 sleeves and is double breasted. The skirt goes below the knee. I LOVE IT. It’s effing TAHARI! Guess the price! Remember, I only spent a combined $251 for these suits. Guess! GUESS! I dare ya!

Oh ok. I’ll tell you. It was marked $99.99 on clearance at Macy’s, but I was able to get it for $79! Yes! It was so freakin’ cheap! I love a good sale and Tahari at $80 is an EXTREMELY good price. (I am lucky I could drag my boyfriend on a quick side trip into Macy’s. It must have helped that Saturday was Auntie Anne’s 20th birthday and she was giving away free pretzels! We each got one and he was happy.)

It sucks that I was impatient and bought two suits at Ann Taylor full price, but I’ve been carrying around the sales slip waiting for the chance to get a price adjustment on it if it goes on sale. As it was, the embarrassment of my poor attire was too much. I’ve started going out to client meetings and to be literally ill-suited would have been a very bad idea and perhaps fatal when it comes to office politics. (Possible and probable when working on a multi-contractor gig. Whose company pays better than the next, etc. You wouldn’t believe what people sit around a discuss sometimes.)

The shoes are brown suede pumps from Payless which are mighty cute and now the tailoring bill to hem the pants is $40. Since I still have not refurbished my sewing machine, I took them to a tailor since my the cost of the tailor is about my hourly rate (ok, more, but not much) and she’s going to do a better job than I can, but it’s a LOT less than driving to my mom’s or my aunt’s to have it done for free or cheap.

That’s it on the clothing front. I am now looking at some pretty water washable dresses for the spring and summer. My dry cleaning bill is going up dramatically and I dislike the notion of having to buy an iron and ironing board.

Updated status: My PRK eye is not doing well. The bandage lens was drying out but I didn’t know it. I never wore contact lenses so I had no idea I was supposed to be soaking the lens as much as possible during the first 48 hours. So I have SPK, which mainfests itself as cloudiness, but continued use of my steroid and anti-inflammatory meds cleared it up. As of last week, I see 20/25 out of my PRK eye.

Since I tend to write in a rambly and undiscplined fashion just to get something out daily, I thought I should make a little chart of costs for you.

What Does Laser Vision Correction Surgery Cost?
Medications:
17.99 - Generic Tobramycin substitute for Zymar at ~$75. Also called Tobramax.
38.97 - Tylenol 3 for pain, Gabapentin pain reliever (Also called Neurontin), and 50 Refresh Plus single-use, preservative-free eye drops

Surgery:
$4790.00 including all pre- and post-operative exams. With PRK, I am going to have at least 5 follow up exams, 24 hours, 3 days, 1 week, 2 months and 3 months after surgery.

Total:
$4846.96+~$40-80 for more single-use eye drops for a full month

I am going to have use the single-use eye drops for at least one month. The bulk package of 50 vials is going to last me a week due to the SPK problem in my right eye. I find that I used them almost hourly the first few days after surgery and that still wasn’t enough for the PRK eye. The doctor’s pre-printed treatment plan says to chill them for PRK, which I thought I would hate, but honestly, I kind of like the cold eye drop. It does make my eyes feel better.

As far as eye drops go, I’ll be honest here and tell you that the other brand available in single-use, preservative-free vials is Systane. I personally like the Systane vials better. The plastic they use is not as stiff as the Refresh Plus drops and easier to squeeze. That sounds dumb, but while you are trying to line it up with your eye, look downwards/to the side, AND put the drop in, having squeeze extra hard is annoying. Plus with the PRK eye, I feel like I can really flush stuff out with a prolonged squeeze of the softer plastic.

Shop around for the single-use vials. Rite-Aid had them for $18 a box. Giant grocery store for $16. I think I saw them at CVS even cheaper, but I also got a coupon in the box I did buy, so it is worth it to buy it one box at a time and see if there is a coupon inside to save money on the next box or two.

This is stating the obvious, but opt for Lasik if you can. Someone asked me if I could have delayed my left eye surgery and had a smaller suction ring ordered to use for me eye so I could do Lasik on it instead of PRK. I didn’t even think to ask that question. I could have sworn they said they didn’t have a smaller one available. I am kicking myself because with PRK you have many more follow up exams and it will cost me a pretty penny to haul my butt out to my regular eye doctor because she is located near my old job location in the burbs and not near my new job. It sucks because she hardly has weekend hours, but I think the other doctor in her practice does. As it was, on Tuesday, she was late to my appointment and had locked my chart in her office so the other doctor in the practice couldn’t see me without any info.

As far as your goggles go, I got a free pair of them, but let me tell you, they are what military people politely call glasses from the PX, “BCG’s”, e.g. Birth Control Glasses/Goggles. If you want something slightly more stylish to wear so you don’t accidentally rub your eyes or touch them in any way while healing, try MSA’s instead. MSA is the chic term my boyfriend and I developed for his tight-fitting, bug-eye shop glasses. His came from Mine Safety Appliances and were free from a plant visit he did for work. I am quite mad at him for letting me wear the BCG’s to a hockey game and bar before remembering that he had these at the house. The funny thing is that I actually did get a compliment on them the next night at the chic 18th Street Lounge in DC. (Sam “The Man” Burns was spinning.) Mind you, these are close fitting goggles and will fog up, but they did keep some jerk from elbowing me in the eyeball while walking through a crowd.

A lot of people have asked me about the surgery and their number one fear is having stuff touch their eye and getting freaked out during surgery. All I can say to them is take the valium when it’s offered and afterwards, you will think nothing of what has happened. It’s not a big deal. I have worse and more prolonged pain from monthly cramping. If you can eat your pain for 10 minutes, you can do this. A blinding migraine is far worse than laser eye surgery. All you have to do is lie still and focus on a blinking dot. And no, I didn’t have a burning smell, and yes, the laser room was very cold, but as there was a snow storm in DC that day, I was already dressed very warmly. FWIW, I’ve seen industrial lasers cooled with 10,000 gallons of water, so I guess I’m not surprised that it was chilly in there. Temperature does effect chemistry and physics, and people, that is exactly what lasers are about, chemistry and physics.

Lastly, please note that your bathing habits are going to have to change here. Lulugal has already mentioned her doctors have told her she can’t wash her face. I showered less frequently that I would have liked because when I do shower, I had a stinging sensation on my eyes even though no water has actually entered them. I kept them shut, but it still hurt like crazy. I had to wash my hair in the tub instead. So please note that you may encounter some dermal issues after surgery.

ps - While looking for a reference to SPK, I found this list of questions to ask your doctor when you have vision correction surgery. Even though it says ‘Post-op’, I would definitely consult this list pre- and post-operation and use it to educate yourself on the risks if I could do it over again.

Ah… 2008 wedding season is starting to rear its ugly head. In the past 2 months, I have received invitations or save the date notices for three weddings. I have known about one for over a year. The other two are for very short engagements, lasting at most for 6 months.

I have an Indian wedding in March, for which the bride has sent me a sari to wear. All I have to do is cover the cost of driving to Jersey City and the hotel. I’ve already asked her if I can split a room with another of her single girlfriends. She is going to ask around for me. I will have to find some pretty purple/silver bangles to wear with the sari, but I am grateful for such a lovely present. (I think I have some somewhere from an Indian dancing class I took.) She’s one of the short engagement people, but she and the groom are South Asian and a long engagement isn’t typical for their culture. It came together pretty quickly since she’s using many of the same Indian wedding vendors her cousins and brother used. That cuts down A LOT on planning since she knows what she is getting and for what price. How much engagement time is wasted on lengthy research efforts?

The second wedding is in April for a couple that’s been dating for a long time. They also have a short engagement. The groom hinted that he was going to ask in 2008, but little did I think they’d set a date for this spring. Fast-moving, but I met the bride at a friend’s wedding in 2006 and she’s fantastic. It’s bittersweet for me, as he was my ‘backup’ and in 2 years he would have had to marry me on the agreed upon date. (Laugh all you want. I have to find another one.) Since they met through church, they didn’t have long to wait on getting a date for the sanctuary. I’m not sure what other plans are for the wedding. Being a friend of the groom, you get cut out of a lot of the planning chit chat. I’ve asked another friend if she’s heard details, but so far, no luck. We shall see what plans are afoot.

The last wedding is a Beach Weekend affair on the Outer Banks in NC. I cannot wait! This has been on my calendar for a year. Normally over Memorial Day weekend, I go to Texas and camp with some old friends (which started as a wedding invitation and morphed into an annual thing). But due to this wedding, I cannot go. That’s ok because the allotment for the TX trip now shifts to this wedding. And it should be cheaper than TX anyway. Instead of flying, I will likely be carpooling down with friends in a minivan from DC. Because the groom is renting a series of houses for a week, lodging will be fairly cheap. We’ll be able to cook, dine, and do all kinds of wacky stuff together. I hear the rental has wireless internet too, so I might be able to blog while on vacation.

What is wedding etiquette here? My boyfriend has been invited to some of these weddings. Do I pay for his share or should I expect him to pay? There is a problem with the April wedding in Boston because my boyfriend will likely have to fly up in time for the ceremony on Saturday, though I am considering Amtrak for myself. Quite a quandary.

There’s part of me that wants to take the curmudgeon route the Miserly Bastard takes, and just send a fat check and not go. But these are three people dear to me and the party should be a great time to catch up with old friends on the guest list. I’ll save the curmudgeon check for my cousin in Korea who is getting married this spring. (My sibling and I will each shell out $250 for my cousin and her fiance. We did that for her older brother who got married last year.)

Here’s a few more thoughts on the matter.

#1: HC made a great point about waiting for your first paycheck to arrive. Sometimes, you get caught short for a month when you start work because you’re waiting for direct deposit to kick in, etc. I’m rethinking how I budget stuff due to changed pay cycles. I used to get paid every two weeks, which meant I got the fictitious ‘bonus’ check twice a year because you end up with three paychecks a month in two different months. (My stance is that it’s not a bonus. You worked 80 hours for it. It’s yours.) With my new job, I get paid twice a month. It’s taking me a while to get used to it since it’s a radical departure in how I manage my finances. I used to give myself an allowance on paycheck Fridays, but now that payday is a floating day, I have to pay closer attention to my cash flow, lest I run out of money in my checking account. (I generally keep very little in my day to day checking account.)

#2: Remapping the lunch plan. I work in a place with a plethora of food options. However, I have noticed the pricing on lunch is MUCH MORE expensive than before. Because I had access to in-building cafeterias at my old job, the pricing was rather low. Because they were self-serve buffets, I also could control my spending and my calories by dishing out exactly what I planned to eat with no waste. The new dining options pose a HUGE problem for me since I can no longer exercise stringent portion control. This doesn’t seem like a huge issue, but it is. Before I could eat a complete and balanced meal for $4. Now I usually spend about $7 and it’s too much food or else not very healthy. The guys at the office are conditioned to get $2.50 sandwich specials from the local supermarket, but I hate sandwiches and have a preference for hot food. Long term, this will be an issue. I will eat more and spend more. (And no, I will not be packing my lunch. My evening plans are often so variable that I cannot count on cooking anything to take to work the next day.)

#3: 401k plan. Because much of my company’s HR is self-serve, I’m having a devil of a time signing up for the 401k plan. I’m going to have to spend some time making phone calls to get that figured out. Annoying. This also means that instead of the 6% I initially planned to contribute, I have to bump it up so that I can average out 6% over the course of the year since there will be at least two checks with no contribution at all. Frustrating, but not insurmountable. I only mention it because it does represent a kink in my SMART goals.

#4: Public transportation is not reimbursable. I was hoping for this. Most Federal contractors in DC will provide Metrochecks so you can get Metrocards (farecards) as a tax-sheltered benefit. Apparently, that is variable at my company depending on the contract terms with the client. So at this time, I’m spending the equivalent of gas money in Metrocards at the increased fares that began in January 2008. Because of this, I’m thinking I might keep on driving to work as the parking garage fee is only $100 a month and that’s equivalent to Metro. I’ll have to crunch the numbers, but sadly, reducing my carbon footprint might still be a pipedream. (I don’t plan on taking my motorcycle to work in pantyhose. Are you nuts? My co-worker and I were talking about taking our bikes to work, but seriously, it’s a bad idea for me.)

#5: Medical FSA contribution problem. This year you can contribute $5100 a year. Going back to point #1 and the shift to semi-monthly paychecks from bi-weekly, I will now be contributing a lot more to FSA per paycheck. Instead of $192 a bi-weekly check, it’s more like $250+ semi-monthly. I get paid more overall, but since I only have 20 more paychecks left in 2008, I am going to have less cash per check than I initially budgeted.

#6 Medical FSA reimbursement problem. I already had my big surgery this year before my benefits card arrived. Now I have to send in forms. It’s going to be a while for a check to get sent to me. It’s annoying, but at least I am not suffering for the money right now. I could have delayed surgery further, but the timing was good to get it done early during my job transition while my project ramp up was delayed.

So that is all for right now. Sorry for the randomness of this entry, but I’ve been dwelling on these issues in the back of my mind the last few days without much chance to write them down. It’s half a post for you and half a TO DO List for me.

The Money Blog Network has asked us how are we doing on 2008 goals. I’m putting the juicy stuff up front. Not so great.

Goal #1
Specific - Contribute to my 401k plan

Oy. I am having a rough time of it right now. Because I work for a large firm, much of this process is automated. The 401k Plan Administrator is the same place where I have a rollover account. Because of this, I have to call the company and do it manually. This means I will have to bump up the percentage contribution to make up for the lost contributions for my first 3-4 checks. Not bad, but annoying.

Grade: Fail. Until I call and fix the problem, it’s a failing grade.

Goal #2
Specific - Reduce my credit card debt
Measurable - By 50% or $9,137 (rounded up to $10K)
Achievable - Monthly payments of $762

I had to put my Lasik surgery on a credit card and I’m still trying to figure out where to submit my papers to get reimbursed. While I have been making larger monthly payments, I have also been charging new items on my cards, like two new suits for work

Grade: Fail. Until I can get an FSA reimbursement check and trim my spending, I’ll be stagnating on this goal.

Goal #3
Specific - Reduce my credit card debt on my highest balance card ~$10K
Measurable - By 50%
Achievable - ~$450 a month

Grade: Pass. I’m paying $500 a month which meets the goal. But honestly, this feels like a pyrrhic victory. I’m so badly behind on Goal #2 that it seems silly to mark this as a pass. Also, it seems dumb to mark this a pass after only 30 days. I am set to send in a $500 payment for February though, which is due in a few days.

As for my annual Lenten sacrifice, I am doing my usual soda sacrifice with a twist. I will only be allowed diet sodas. I hate the taste of diet, but to get myself used to its flavor and meet my dieting goals, I am going to use the 40 days of Lent to get used to the taste. I will also give up beer and other bubblies. Unless it’s diet, no go.

I’m still thinking of the rest of my goals. I am a little thrown off by Lent’s arrival so early. I can’t think of what else to do this year.

Sometimes I like to browse the hardcore geek blogs like Gizmodo, Engadget, Life After Coffee, etc. One that I like to read is a general geek blog called Scobleizer. He’s a former Microsoftie, who is slightly controversial for using his blog as a PR tool for his company’s products. But hey, we all have to make a living. Even Robert Scoble knows that well.

He’s penned a How To post for getting laid off and what you can do about it. He is very realistic as some of his advice comes from his own experiences being laid off in 2002 when the dot-coms all went completely kaput. He admits to taking unemployment. It’s what it’s for.

9. Don’t feel bad about taking government assistance. You’ll need it to pay your bills. I took it and it helped me get over that tough period.

As for me, the things I can offer you as a financial counseling volunteer are these:

1. Get some health insurance. You can get catastrophic insurance or an HMO to tide you over. Unless you negotiate some continued benefits at the same rate as part of severance, you’ll end up paying ridiculous sums for COBRA coverage.

2. If you can’t get health insurance, find a local clinic with pay scaled rates so that you can pay less for services. Generally they are looking at people who make less than 150% of the poverty line, i.e. ~$15K in 2007.

3. Find a food bank. Times are tough and that’s what a food bank is for. If you can’t buy groceries, try the food bank for some short-term help.

4. If you have student loans, consider forebearance till you find a new steady job.

Just a few thoughts for you. Scoble wrote his post in support of Yahoo staffers who are being cut, but it’s still darned good advice.

ps- If you live in Northern VA and want more specific help, please email me and I can send you a list of regional resources. (mostly Arlington specific, but you can probably find an analogue in Fairfax, Alexandria and Loudon counties based off the list.)