I’m the Family Miser?
Apparently, this is the case. My mother, in her loving Korean way, tried to tell me that I should turn my modest studio into a palace. I had to remind her through gritted teeth, that I am doing the saving she always exhorts, paying for the family cellphone contract, and going to help her with her roof. Exactly where do I have money left to beautify my home after the bills get paid? Sumptuous draperies are not my aspiration. Never has been.
I suppose I could find the money to spend on my condo, but I don’t think my mother understands that I like my studio’s small footprint. I like that it’s got the furniture it needs. While the kitchen and bathroom need updating, I put *her* roof ahead of my home and any money I’ve got will be heading towards my debt and the roof she wants next year.
I got a nice birthday card and $100 cash over the long weekend. I’m not ungrateful. It’s very sweet of my parents to continue to give me a birthday present. I just want a little perspective though. I’m not a miser. I just live more simply than my parents think I should. I also didn’t tell them that I’m hardly in my apartment. And when I am, I’m sitting at my desk staring at the computer. Mostly I need a nice desk chair and maybe a new mattress.
The point of living in a studio is not to live lavishly. It’s to live. Period. I don’t need, nor want it to be a castle. *sigh* When are my parents going to get it? They won’t. It’s ok. But then they wonder why I don’t want to come home to hear their litany of shoulds and shouldn’ts.
Grace wrote:
Parents are hardwired NOT to get this. My baby sister moved to NYC to be a banker. In her first job, she made more than my father had ever earned. But my parents were appalled by the vintage refrigerator in her apartment and insisted on buying her a new one–never mind that she was seldom in her apartment and all she required of a refrigerator was that it keep the skim milk cold. It’s not about being Korean, it’s about being MOM or DAD.
Posted on 26-Feb-08 at 9:08 am | Permalink
Chief Family Officer wrote:
This is a universal story, in one way or another. I think the moral is: it’s impossible to please our parents. (Yours and mine, anyway, apparently.) I hope to do better by my kids but am not sure that it’s possible. In the meantime, for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing great. You seem happy with your life, which is what really matters. BTW, happy belated birthday!
Posted on 26-Feb-08 at 11:45 pm | Permalink
Leanne wrote:
I think my family would think of me as the miser in the group too. I have a small condo that totally suits my needs. No need for a bigger space, while my parents are currently building a 4700′ house for the two of them!! That, I don’t understand!
Oh well, I am happy with what I have and never feel like I am doing without, it’s trying to get that through my family’s headd that can be difficult! 
Posted on 27-Feb-08 at 2:53 pm | Permalink
Vixen wrote:
When I first moved out two years ago, my mother took one look at my bedroom and said, “Wow, Vixen, are you really going to be able to live in here? It’s a shoebox.” Two years later and I’m finally looking at getting a studio (I rent a room from a house). I like my little bedroom. It’s cozy!
I agree with Chief Family Officer. Your parents want you to save and be frugal… but not outwardly? You can’t please them!
Posted on 27-Feb-08 at 5:17 pm | Permalink