Comments on: Love and Money: Parental Unit Editon http://www.mapgirl.net/mfc/2007/07/25/love-and-money-parental-unit-editon/ Just tidbits about money and finance. Wed, 03 Dec 2008 21:55:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: mapgirl http://www.mapgirl.net/mfc/2007/07/25/love-and-money-parental-unit-editon/#comment-91200 mapgirl Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:46:57 +0000 http://www.mapgirl.net/mfc/2007/07/25/love-and-money-parental-unit-editon/#comment-91200 Ms. MiniDucky - I'm glad it was useful to you. I definitely agonized about what I wrote because there is a lot of emotion wrapped up in our family relationships. You can't be the rescuer of your family, nor martyr yourself financially for them. I think English Major might have been right to point out enabling behavior, but it's ok, we've all done it to varying degrees and it's tough because they're your parents and you can't just kick them to the curb. (Well, there's a few horrible parents I know, but those are extreme cases, bordering on criminality.) Just realize you are faced with a new choice and you can choose differently, or in a more healthy way, with your folks. They may push your boundaries, but it's up to you to push back if that is what will make you sleep better at night. I wish you and your family lots of luck! I hope if they go for it that it works out. Ms. MiniDucky - I’m glad it was useful to you. I definitely agonized about what I wrote because there is a lot of emotion wrapped up in our family relationships. You can’t be the rescuer of your family, nor martyr yourself financially for them. I think English Major might have been right to point out enabling behavior, but it’s ok, we’ve all done it to varying degrees and it’s tough because they’re your parents and you can’t just kick them to the curb. (Well, there’s a few horrible parents I know, but those are extreme cases, bordering on criminality.)

Just realize you are faced with a new choice and you can choose differently, or in a more healthy way, with your folks. They may push your boundaries, but it’s up to you to push back if that is what will make you sleep better at night.

I wish you and your family lots of luck! I hope if they go for it that it works out.

]]> By: msminiducky http://www.mapgirl.net/mfc/2007/07/25/love-and-money-parental-unit-editon/#comment-91192 msminiducky Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:38:44 +0000 http://www.mapgirl.net/mfc/2007/07/25/love-and-money-parental-unit-editon/#comment-91192 Thanks for the exceedingly thoughtful response, Mapgirl. I actually called you out specifically to slap some sense into me, but it wasn't really *that* sort of situation, either. It helps. Obviously we have different situations, but this really helped to clarify thoughts and anxieties that were still lurking, unidentified. Plonkee: If I looked at it as an investment, I think I'd have very different expectations for the results. Honestly, I'd be over the moon if someone else stepped in and did really well because that should mean that my parents were also doing really well. At the end of the day, that's all I want for them. I appreciate the tough love :) Thanks for the exceedingly thoughtful response, Mapgirl. I actually called you out specifically to slap some sense into me, but it wasn’t really *that* sort of situation, either. It helps. Obviously we have different situations, but this really helped to clarify thoughts and anxieties that were still lurking, unidentified.

Plonkee: If I looked at it as an investment, I think I’d have very different expectations for the results. Honestly, I’d be over the moon if someone else stepped in and did really well because that should mean that my parents were also doing really well. At the end of the day, that’s all I want for them.

I appreciate the tough love :)

]]> By: plonkee http://www.mapgirl.net/mfc/2007/07/25/love-and-money-parental-unit-editon/#comment-91058 plonkee Wed, 25 Jul 2007 16:06:19 +0000 http://www.mapgirl.net/mfc/2007/07/25/love-and-money-parental-unit-editon/#comment-91058 I think that you need to really believe that it will work - not just hope that it will work, or want it work. You need to think about how you would feel if all the money was lost (and how this would impact on your relationship with your parents) but also how you would feel if you declined, someone else stepped in and did really well out of it. Would it be different if it was an investment rather than a loan? I think that you need to really believe that it will work - not just hope that it will work, or want it work. You need to think about how you would feel if all the money was lost (and how this would impact on your relationship with your parents) but also how you would feel if you declined, someone else stepped in and did really well out of it.

Would it be different if it was an investment rather than a loan?

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