How Much Do the Suburbs Suck?
No man is an island - John Donne
The Washington Post had an article this week about suburbia being a soulless place. [The link my require registration. Try Bugmenot.com for a login or register yourself.]
I kind of laughed at the people in the article. I hate the suburbs as created in planned communities around Fairfax and Loudoun counties here in Virginia. I grew up in a very old suburb of Philadelphia and our homes were interspersed with gentleman farms, dressage rings, and 8+ golf courses. (I counted it up once.) The homes were pretty modest places, 2,000 sq feet, two story colonials on 1/3 to 1/2 acre plots, with the occasional palatial home on 1+ acres.
These days the McMansions of Northern Virginia don’t thrill me with their granite countertops and cathedral ceilings. All that enclosed airspace for naught but drafts and high winter heating bills. Plus you can’t go get a cannoli in 10 minutes, or run your dry cleaning in 5 or less. (Not that I can get a cannoli in my current neighborhood, but I sure can get a bottle of soda by walking across the street or even some Thai food in a nice 20 minute stroll.)
All the people in the article are looking for more life in the their lives and less home. It’s sad that they had to learn that after the fact rather than before.
This weekend I went to a lovely house cooling party for some friends leaving for Colorado. Their life and home was always filled with love and fun things to do. We were dancing to their favorite dance songs, dressing up in their costume collection every 20 minutes and having a ball. Guests came in from all over, but I loved how so many of them came over from n-blocks away. That’s part of the charm of living in a walkable city. Two guests came early for cocktails, left for a comedy show and came back before midnight, all possible because of the urban location.
Our suburban exile has been called the ‘atomization of the American family
Recently I had a conversation with some people from Chicago. They were telling me how wonderful it was to be in neighborhoods where you know who lives in every house and you look out for them. Why organize a neighborhood watch? You should know your neighbors and greet them with a friendly smile. I know my mom and dad have that in their suburban neighborhood, but the design of the place is such that it encourages interaction when the kids are out on the street playing games and riding their bikes. I remember having block parties down in the cul-de-sac with great food and everyone having fun. I’m so glad that’s back now that the next set of kids have moved in. Our neighbors walk from house to house and help each other out with projects because it’s a great neighborhood once more, but for a while, it was all suburban quietude, and not in a good way.
With an impending office relocation later this year, I’ve been fantasizing about a bigger apartment closer to my office. But I just can’t stomach the suburbs. I’ve thought about getting a “luxury” condo in Reston Town Center, but I can’t imagine what would be so luxurious about it. As I stroll down the street there, it’s nothing but stores you’d see at the mall. Not the mom and pop places where you can ask for discount and they really do appreciate your business and take care of you because they see you every week. It’s a fake village populated with minimum wage employees you’ll never see again. They don’t bake their cookies with love. It kills me to think of living there.
I had lunch on Saturday at one of my favorite sandwich shops in Old Town Alexandria. It’s been easily a year since I’ve eaten there because I don’t work at the yarn shop down the street anymore. I happened to make a date for lunch with a friend and we went to lunch at this cafe. The owner recognized me when I asked about his wife and we caught up on their business life for the past year. It felt really good that he still recognized me. I just don’t think you get that in the suburbs without a lot of effort.
You might think this is just whining and complaining and fighting the tide of suburbanization, but I think in terms of regional development and planning, choosing where you live really matters. Intentionally living in a community where your economic needs are densely concentrated matters. It matters a lot.
HC wrote:
You know, I think I knew more of my neighbors when I lived in my Reston apartment complex than I ever have in Arlington. Of course, we had open-stair buildings that backed up to the shopping center, so you’d see people going back and forth for groceries and such.
Even though I have a smaller grocery store across the street where I live, I NEVER see the people on my block shopping there. I like garden-style apartments, but I think they contribute to people “going inside.”
I guess I’m saying that economic density is important, but it isn’t the sole factor that goes into community-building.
Posted on 05-Jun-07 at 9:20 am | Permalink
BD wrote:
You’re unnecessarily harsh on the suburbs. People who’ve lived in a community their whole lives, whether it’s a suburb or a city, ought to know the shop owners. My particular suburb has many independent family-owned shops - and even the workers in the chain places recognize me. It’s all about building a community for yourself, which is possible wherever you live.
Posted on 05-Jun-07 at 9:32 am | Permalink
savvy wrote:
When I lived in suburbia, there were no shop owners. Just endless miles of cul-de-sacs. Going to the grocery store meant hopping in the car to travel across the highway… only a mile or two, but there were enough barriers to pedestrians to make walking almost impossible.
We moved to a small town about five years ago and it is so much more walkable. We can walk to hardware stores, grocery stores, library, pool. The community is much stronger and we know all our neighbors. In the suburb, everyone drove right into their attached garage and we never even saw anyone. It was sad.
Posted on 05-Jun-07 at 10:05 am | Permalink
tinyhands wrote:
My parents & sister’s family live in the suburbs and I hate going out there. With as much space as they have, it’s actually MORE congested with soccer moms and commuters funnelling onto under-planned roadways.
Posted on 05-Jun-07 at 11:26 am | Permalink
Clever Dude wrote:
I live in a somewhat unique part of Rockville where Rockville Pike is 1 street away, but we live in an old development (WW II time period). The whole community are little cape cods with anywhere from .10 to .25 acres of land. We interact with our neighbors, but not as much as we’d like. Even when we lived in an apartment or apartment community, we didn’t talk to our neighbors.
It’s really up to the person (you or I) to initiate conversation with our neighbors, whether we live in 1 acre McMansions, or 100 unit condos in Alexandria/Arlington. Some of our neighbors are talkative, some keep to themselves. They used to have block parties, but that’s changed as they’ve gotten older and the street demographics have changed. However they’re the same people, so what changed with them?
Your community is only what you make of it, but I agree that it’s nice to have mom/pop shops nearby to make it homier feeling. However, that also means spending more money rather than cooking at home
Posted on 05-Jun-07 at 1:03 pm | Permalink
Amanda wrote:
Being a Chicagoan, I agree with your sentiments about the suburbs. However, thankfully some people want to live out there, or else they’d be crowding up my city!
Posted on 05-Jun-07 at 1:32 pm | Permalink
donna jean wrote:
I’m looking forward to meeting our new neighbors and really hope there is somewhat of a community feel. I’ve always lived in some version of a suburb and moving into a “rural village” will take some getting use to. While it is indeed a more rural area, we’re still in the middle of a neighborhood of homes (mostly 100 years old). We’ll have to plan better for meals and grocery shopping because the nearest grocery is about 15 minutes away - no more running out mid-cooking to get a missing ingredient.
Posted on 05-Jun-07 at 2:00 pm | Permalink
PiggyBank Raider wrote:
Interesting read. I am not a fan of suburban lifestyle, but I’m not a fan of city living, either. Instead, we live in a small town (population about 3,000). Although a nice Thai dinner requires a 20 minute drive rather than a 20 minute walk, there are advantages to rural life.
1. Cheaper produce/more local produce. Farms are abundant in my area, which means numerous local farmers stands are but a mile or so away. Not only is the food fresher and cheaper, it’s also great to support the local farmer.
2. Free water. Well, almost free. Around here, everyone has a well. I guess we pay for the electricity to pump it, but overall it’s nice to not have a water bill.
3. Teaches organization skills. For those of us interested in leaving a smaller footprint, we must organize things like shopping trips and other errands so that they require fewer road trips.
4. More character. Rather than city sidewalks or cul-de-sacs, you can see everything from planned communities to dairy farms within a 15 miles radius.
5. Low crime rate. Our weekly town newspaper publishes every single criminal event. There’s usually about 5-7 per week, ranging from criminal mischief to DUIs. A violent crime–usually a domestic situation that ends in murder–happens about once a year. Maybe.
Of course, there are disadvantages. Sometimes it would be nice to walk to a Thai restaurant. And this isn’t a particularly culturally diverse area. Visiting a decent museum requires a serious drive.
I guess it comes down to a matter of priorities and preference. I understand why people like to live in the city. But it’s not necessarily the best for everyone.
Posted on 05-Jun-07 at 2:20 pm | Permalink
Ted wrote:
I’ve lived in both and I’ll take the ‘burbs over the city any day.
Posted on 05-Jun-07 at 6:57 pm | Permalink
MVP wrote:
I pretty much agree with PiggyBank. My opinion is you should live wherever you get the most enjoyment for your preferred lifestyle. A few years ago, when I was single, I completely preferred the hustle and bustle and craziness of the never-boring city. You could meet your friends at a different club, bar or restaurant every night and there were always fun things to do. Now, I’m hitched and thinking more about safe neighborhoods and good schools. I’m nesting and frankly, I have a different set of values now. We live in a small town of about 3,000. I have to trek a good distance to get anything that resembles gourmet, or even a decent cup of coffee. But on the flip side, we have two quirky chickens in our backyard, a beautiful view of the mountains and lovely neighbors.
Posted on 05-Jun-07 at 11:22 pm | Permalink
Mary wrote:
As a Chicagoan, I’d also like to point out that we are somewhat different than other major cities in that we are largely a “city of neighborhoods”… basically every neighborhood is a mini-community in itself with its own character, feel and history. This may be what contributes to more Chicagoans wanting to stay in the city versus move out to the suburbs. This is a great thing when you find a neighborhood you really love and can make your home, but it can also contribute to segregation within the city, which is one of Chicago’s ongoing challenges. I would love to stay in my neighborhood until I die, because the cultural diversity and experience of growing up surrounded by the world is what I want for any potential children. My cousins who grew up in the far suburbs have a much more consumerist, self-centered and sheltered view of life, and it really bothers me to think of how different we are… my grandparents are rolling in their graves.
Posted on 06-Jun-07 at 1:03 pm | Permalink
Him wrote:
We’ll never move to the burbs!
Posted on 10-Jun-07 at 9:27 pm | Permalink