Mapgirl does not cook. She CAN cook, but she does not like to cook for one and so rarely cooks. She uses dining out as an excuse not to hide in her apartment from the rest of the world.

Getting that out of the way, I am actually a very decent cook. There are a few things I do really well, like a full-on Thanksgiving dinner with homemade cornbread dressing. I can do it with my eyes closed at this age. But I leave the candied yam recipe to my mom, she likes the little marshmallows on top.

Korean food is a challenge for me. I can cook it at my mom’s house, but I really am not interested in slaving away in the kitchen to make all the little side dishes, plus the smell of kimchi is not so nice when it pervades the entire apartment. 500 sq feet isn’t hard to air out, but I’d rather not have my bedding smell like food in the first place.

This post was inspired by a dining budget disaster at Make Love Not Debt. I totally feel for you guys. Your post inspired this little rant of mine.

(more…)

The Rolling Stones got it all wrong. That’s the way the lyric should have ran.

I talked recently with a friend of mine. I really admire her a lot. She’s come a long way financially in the past few years and the other day, she reminded me of how far she’d come. When I first met her, she was having a hard time making ends meet. I’d ask her what she was having for lunch and she’d tell me she was skipping lunch and going to scrounge the cupboards for dinner. It’s been a long time since that was a necessity for me other than by choosing not to get groceries on the way home.

Slowly over time, she’s gotten herself to where she no longer lives paycheck to paycheck. She’s contributing a small slice of her paycheck to her 401k plan and her goal is to be in her own home soon. But getting over that first hump of quitting living hand-to-mouth represents a huge leap in her mindset. Being able to see beyond your next payday can be really hard, especially if all you can envision are just more bills.

We talked about how just getting past paycheck to paycheck gave her a lot of satisfaction and peace of mind. Her friendship strengthens me. I see her resolve to achieve more with her career and her determination to pay off her debt and I know I’m not doing enough to tackle my own debt.

Lately I’ve been strategizing the best way to handle my credit cards. I did a huge review of my financial plan and I see that I’m not really on track.

The Girl Money v Boy Money post has generated some very interesting discussion.

The main thing is, if *YOU* aren’t asking for a raise, *YOU* probably aren’t getting one. I hate to sound like a broken record, but I’ll say it again, “You are Yourself Incorporated.” It was the favorite saying of my old boss and I have to say, it’s one of mine.

I’ve been there. I’ve gotten 2% annual raises two years in a row, wondering what exactly I needed to do to get a bigger raise, when I had done everything I could. (I turned around two unhappy clients into less unhappy clients. I’m not God and I don’t work miracles here, but I think making them less unhappy is a start.) And all I got to show for it was a third client yelling at me. Trust me. I was one of those beaten down office lackeys who often writes for desperate career advice. But today, I make a salary I am proud of.

I’m still slightly less compensated than I should be. It comes from fewer years of experience and no certification, things easily remedied by the passage of time and a test. I’ll be in training for the test next week, but I don’t feel like shelling out the extra money to actually take the exam. Maybe I might, but I don’t see a huge benefit from having the cert without the years of experience. The years in the trenches count most, and I can’t control time. Just saying I took the certification course may be enough.

Either way, I am better compensated than before and it’s because I have asked for more money and my management has gone to bat for me. No one is looking out for you except you. And what is the worst that can happen? They say no. But at least that can be turned into a “motivating No” instead of sitting and wondering whether or not you can get a raise.

I laugh a little at the gender flag. I work in IT, which is still male-dominated. And for the most part, as a woman, I’ve been better compensated than my male peers at some companies because I have the intelligence, guts, and arrogance to know my market worth and ask for fair compensation. I have only been lowballed once, and that was quickly remedied when my contribution was made clear to the company the following year. This may sound a bit like bragging, but I know if you don’t start out asking for a high salary, then 2% raises of a low salary look pretty awful. But 2% of a high salary looks a lot better. The only place you have to go in a new job salary negotiation is DOWN, so don’t start low. The first way to start earning your salary is asking for a good one in the first place.

I hope every woman out there who feels over-worked and under-paid gets off her duff and asks for more money. If not, you’ve got 8 more months this year to find a new job.

It’s still a man’s world, and it gets worse after 10 years.

I guess it’s still not a surprise, but every once in a while I am heartened by the women executives I know at the VP level who are doing well. It’s not impossible to get ahead. It just takes a little extra dedication.

I found this article through another blogger, but I can’t remember who now. But many thanks anyway for pointing it out.

I wonder what SingleMa’s got to say about this!

As far as the road trip went, we took our host’s advice and drove the George Washington Bridge. It was a fine trip through NYC during rush hour, but not as bad as you might think. Because of the graciousness of our host, I spent Saturday as a No-Spend Day, knitting and reading on couches all over a beautiful country house.

We dined fabulously on rack of lamb, triple chocolate birthday cake, pate and yummy warmed goat cheese salad over spring greens. (Easier to make than you think.) The Barefoot Contessa cookbook has some really tasty dishes in it!

All in all, my friend paid for the gas and drove his car. I paid all the tolls with my SmartTag. I have no idea what the total tolls were since the NJ toll isn’t displayed for you, but it was about $41 altogether. (Shocking, but you can ride the NJ Turnpike for less than $20. That can’t be right, but it is! I checked their website.) Yes, we spent a lot of time in the car, but you get to know people a lot better by their iPod playlists.

Either way, a road trip is worth the money for two people on a weekend trip like this one. We saved about $75-125 per person by driving. I’m glad I put my foot down on spending money for plane tickets. I really hate airports and the new security rules. I think I’m going to have to take more car trips instead of flying.

Now the only thing is that I need to be adamant about what travel I will and will not pay for/do. Last year I caved in on the wedding in Seattle because my friend said she’d pool resources for me. I still ended up spending a mint that weekend, even though I did it as cheaply as I could. I love my friends, but I’m not really looking forward to sacrificing my personal vacation time again this year for another wedding.

NPR had a story a few days ago on caring for an autistic child after you’re gone.

I was bawling in the car. I’ve written before about my cousin. It hits me hard in the chest. Fortunately, my cousin is not severely disabled like this. He’s very functional, just slow. I want to be there to help if it’s needed.

Plan your estates now if you have kids, developmentally disabled or not. There is no time like the present to think about the future.

It’s the same as emergency planning. The time to plan is when there is no crisis.

I was invited to go to CT this weekend with a friend. I convinced him to drive there instead of fly. Thus saving myself a boatload of money. We’re leaving early from DC to skip NYC traffic over the GW.

But the really cool thing is that my VA SmartTag/EZ-PASS/SmartPass thingamajig for the tolls is no longer limited to one car assignment. I double checked the website this week and all we have to do is take it with us. No extra pass needed for my friend’s car. I can even pick up extra mounting strips from their office in Northern VA. (But I am too lazy to do so. I can hold the pass up while he drives.)

WOO HOO!

If you don’t have a smart tag, you might want to think about getting one. I had to get one because I work off the Dulles Toll Road and it makes my daily commute faster. However, when I was going to Philly every week last year, it made a huge difference on I-95, and in some places, there is a discounted toll for using electronic payment.

I used to be all paranoid about Big Brother and the government tracking my movement and figuring out that I was speeding on the highway, but for the 3 tolls I pay every day to go to work, it’s completely worth it. Plus my paranoid security friends tell me this is the least of my worries in terms of government surveillance.

So this is the last post of the week. Happy Friday!

To recap my Lenten goals, I wanted to make smarter choices with my money on a daily basis and stop drinking bubbly drinks. I have to say, this year would be rated a miserable failure on both counts, but not without an upside.

1) I have a weakness for root beer. I broke the bubbly drink rule for Lent about 4 times. Once for a frosty pint of root beer. Once to drink a soda my friends left behind after surgery to wash down medicine when I was out of plain juice. (I can argue medical dispensation on that one, but that’s so cheesy.) Once for a beer in haste, and once for the free drink I couldn’t turn down. I think there was another beer in there too. All in all, pretty lousy compared to past performance. On this one, there is no upside.

2) On smarter choices about money, I think I did ok, but really not as well as I might have liked. I can’t say there was more money in my pocket at the end of Lent this year than at the beginning. The little daily habit choices didn’t seem to have a good specific, measureable impact. But there was an upside.

I made more of effort to dine at the cafeteria at work. I was frequently serving myself meals of less than $5. I also started shopping more often at Target for groceries like juice and frozen dinners. I brought in coffee to make at my desk rather than buy. And I have started eating a little breakfast at home, even if it’s just a slice of bread and a slice of cheese. Just putting a little something into my tummy before 10AM has been good. The cheese isn’t lowfat, and I am probably doing something to my cholesterol levels, but I am getting some calcium I wouldn’t otherwise get in my diet. (Milk is disgusting and I’m lactose intolerant for non-aged/cultured dairy products. I like my dairy to have gone through charm school and get some “culture”.)

As the weather gets warmer, I’m also enjoying sandwiches more often. I actually hate sandwiches and cold food. But the warmer weather invites it.

Curse you kids at Make Love Not Debt! *shakes fist*

My obsessions? Well, one of them is really obvious since I have a whole blog devoted to it.

The next four? Hm. Narrowing down to four? This is going to be tough. I wrote this post, then decided I sounded like a weirdo and changed almost all of the next four. The other thing is that I’m not really obsessed with these things. I could definitely live without them. That’s how I know I don’t have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Obsession #2 - My blog. I love checking stats like Clever Dude.

Obsession #3 - Blue ink. I must have blue ink pens. Other colors are ok, but I have a strong preference for it. I think it’s because I loved Bic STIC Medium pens in school.

Obsession #4 - Scratching the itch. I keep my nails long so I can get that itch. I bite my nails too sometimes, but I also like manicuring them. (Frugally! At home! Most of the time…)

Obsession #5 - I hinted at this before. Even English Major does it. I like to listen to the same song over and over again. Yesterday it was VNV Nation’s Judgement CD, Track 8, Illusion. For a solid hour on repeat till the headphones squished my brain too much. (There is a sound clip available at the Amazon.com link.)

No Credit Needed, one of my blogpals, has the 70th Festival of Frugality available now.

Yours truly has a submission, Repair or Replace?

Other articles which I enjoyed through the week were:

Golbguru’s post on oiling locks.

Frugal Babe, who has a really gorgeous blog design if you ask me, writes about selling her engagement ring, THOUGH SHE’S HAPPILY MARRIED. This is by far the best post of all. Every crazy girl into bling ought to read this post. I am however a little disappointed that she’s still going to wear something shiny. I say go with the plain band. But she does have a pretty cool alternative in mind.