For the last few months, I’ve been holding back an off-topic post about privacy and the Internet. I’ve been trying to keep this blog afloat and on topic as much as I can and still hold down my day job and have a life.
But on Tuesday, I was reading an Oracle blog by Tom Kyte and was tipped off to a post by Kathy Sierra. She’s being victimized by a commenter and then further victimized in a vile fashion in images at another website. For those of you who don’t read a lot about the blogging medium, Kathy is a proponent of the Internet as a community building place. Her blog is called ‘Creating Passionate Users’. This is a woman who really cares about the community of people on the Internet and making it a welcome place.
I’m a b*tch. Plain and simple. I’m not a nice person and I have email exchanges from commenters that prove it. I didn’t mean to start off on the wrong foot, but I guess I should stop trying to be funny because I sound like a haughty wench all the time. I suppose I thought that’s why people were reading this blog in the first place. Guess not. I never should have engaged my commenters and readers at all, but I was showing my own naivete in trying to be interactive and helpful in the near utopian way that I remember the Internet being back in college 15+ years ago. But how quickly I have forgotten USENET flamewars and their idiocy.
This thing that has happened to her is disgusting. It is beyond the pale. It is verbal abuse and terrorism. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. It may possibly be NSFW depending on your workplace policy. I know I was greatly disturbed by the graphic image she reposted, and remember, IT WAS DIRECTED AT HER.
News posts covering the topic directly at BBC News and Slashdot. The Washington Post has their own article about anonymous commenting.
I hope and pray that the person who did this to her grabs a clue and stops. I hope he gets help before he actually hurts someone. He is sick and deranged. I hope and pray that Ms. Sierra can overcome this, but I’m not sure how. I know that after reading it, I seriously thought about stopping blogging altogether and permanently. Before finding out about Ms. Sierra’s situation, it’s a thought I’ve been having for a few weeks now for various and sundry reasons related to being out there to be attacked, ridiculed, criticized, labeled, blamed, threatened, stalked and terrorized.
If you think I’m overreacting, please read Mindhunter
I was recently walking with a friend who is a former Marine. He’s 6′2″ and upwards of 200 lbs. We were talking about doing some solitary activity and I had to remind him that women don’t do that sort of thing by themselves lest they inadvertently make themselves a target. He paused and told me that he hadn’t thought of it the way that I do since physical threats are not part of his every day assessment of the world. Despite what I write in my blog about emergency preparedness, I’m not actually a nervous nellie. But I am street-smart about not looking like a victim. My natural mean b*tch look comes in handy that way.
Much thinking will commence. I am deeply ambivalent about blogging now.
If you do anything after reading this blog, buy yourself some pepper spray and a flashlight and keep them accessible at all times when you are out of the house. Yes, I even carry it when I take trash out to the dumpsters in the parking lot. Nothing’s ever happened to me and hopefully, nothing ever will. I wish the same for all of you.
If you are a blogger, publicize this. Repost about it. Express your disgust and return some civility to our world. Get angry dammit!
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
“If you are a blogger, publicize this. Repost about it. Express your disgust and return some civility to our world. Get angry dammit!”
And then, keep posting! Your commenters, anonymous or not, like reading what you have to say. Personally, I don’t mind these “off-topic” posts. I found your education post enlightening and interesting, and it made me think about the issue in a new way. Don’t be afraid to blog what you care about, even if it’s not personal finance.
Just my $0.02.
That is terrifying! I had a creepy anonymous commenter awhile back (I think it was around a year and half ago). I turned on comment moderation and just stopped letting the comments through and eventually they stopped, but it made me question every slightly personal detail I posted.
Ugh, these anonymous people are SICK. And, pessimistically, I have to wonder if they get a perverse glee from so deeply affecting another person’s life.
I hope everyone remembers that you don’t have to be obsessive to be vigilant. You never know when and if you’re going to find yourself in a dangerous situation so be smart about not deliberately walking into shady situations. Self defense is all well and good, but you learn that there will always be someone bigger and stronger than you. If years of martial arts has taught me nothing else, I’ve learned that much.
Carrying yourself with confidence and not walking into dark anythings alone will be some of your best protection. And a naturally mean b*itch look? May effectively deter potential attackers because they want a meek victim, not a fighter. Be safe.
I’ve only been blogging a few short months. Not to be paranoid, but I had links to my MYSPACE profile and Flickr album on my ‘about me’ section for my blog. I also had a link to a personal travel scrapbook. I pulled all these links after reading about this incident. I realized that although I enjoy sharing those experiences with my readers, they weren’t exactly necessary for my blog either.
While many of us have innocent hearts, it’s easy to forget the predatory nature of other less savory types. And it takes just one nutcase to cause commotion. Sigh.
I sincerely hope Miss Sierra will find the courage to continue blogging and engaging in her public speaking.
=^..^=
I find it fascinating that only my women readers have a comment. Are none of my male readers horrified?
Good post – what a horrible experience! A friend had something similar happen to her, and it spilled over from blog-land to real life – you have to be really careful about your personal information, thanks for reminding us again.
I would, however, challenge you a little bit about the flashlight/pepper spray safety tip. I am a volunteer for a rape crisis center, and people need to realize that 80% of the time, an attacker is not some guy in a dark alley, its someone you know – a friend, neighbor, relative or ex/boyfriend/husband. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be vigillant and aware of your surroundings, and take appropriate self-defense measures if it makes you comfortable… I’m just saying that most violence (sexual assault, stalking, even theft and burglary) is committed by someone you know, and possibly trust or even love. The key is to listen to your “inner voice” that tells you when something is “off” – a good book about this is “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin DeBecker.