I love comments. I love questions in comments! Please feel free to leave a comment with a question!
Today’s post answers a question from a commenter:
Do you always split the bill with friends when eating out? or if it’s a friend you haven’t seen in awhile, do you offer to pay given their tough financial situation?
Ah… Well this is a toughie. I’m Korean and the ridiculous etiquette surrounding the check is very important to me culturally, when I’m with other Koreans. If I’m with Koreans, it’s generally family and old friends, so I let the cultural norms apply, which are that the oldest person pays, which only gets trumped by the boy pays, but I’m enough of a feminist that I will pull the older sister business on someone close to me and pay anyway. One always does the requisite polite fighting/insisting, but I’m happy not to pay the check or pay it as the case may be.
When I’m not with Koreans, it’s a whole ‘nother story. Yes, I generally split the bill when dining out with friends. I’m not made of money and neither are they. I will definitely treat some of my friends when the following conditions apply:
1) It’s a special occaision, like a birthday or graduation. Then it’s my treat.
2) If I know my friend is in a tight spot financially and could use a night out. My treat.
3) If I have a hunkering for something posh and it’s beyond the budget of my friend. My treat.
4) If I am traveling and have thoughtlessly forgotten a host/hostess gift, I will treat on the first possible occaision, or else save it for a planned fancy meal later during the visit. (Which is inevitable with my foodie friends.)
5) If I am with someone with whom I dine out frequently, I try not to sweat the total cost of the check. We pick up for one another and hopefully it all comes out right in the end. There are some things worth accounting in life, I find this is not one of them when I am with people I enjoy. We’re talking daily lunches and breakfasts at work. I will buy my boss lunch and he will buy me fancy coffee and egg sandwiches and vice versa. He’s down with me telling him I am feeling cheap that week. Always come prepared to pay in this situation.
As much as I discuss my love of food on my blog, I’m just as happy with McDonald’s, Taco Bell, as I am with Vidalia, Evening Star, etc.
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I hope this helps. Again, this was a pre-drafted entry. Because right now, after sleeping on the bathroom floor next to a puke bucket from a stomach virus, ingesting food sounds absolutely horrible to me. I’m so sorry for oversharing, but on top of last week’s miserable cold, I need let everyone know I’m extra special for being vertical for more than 6 hours straight. (AND I did part of an upgrade this weekend! Fortunately before the stomach virus hit.)
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keep up the savings, i think you can do it and reach your goals. check out my site http://www.asiantom.com about how i made it, and consider linking to me.
i thought about your tips because one of my friends is in a tight spot financially and mentally, her boyfriend moved out and they’re in a weird spot.
but she just got a fat raise from what she told me and is having trouble managing the money. she just got a brand new sports car … so i dont know if im doing her any good.
thanks for the tips. they seem pretty easy and sensible guidelines.