My favorite handmade gift was a tiny accent pillow that my book club friend made for me with a Miss-Muffet-asks-the-spider-to-look-in-his-book applique. It makes me smile every time I see it.

When I got married, my mother in law asked me if I wanted jewelry as a traditional marriage gift or cash – I chose the cash, and it’s been growing nicely in mutual funds. I plan to use it as part of a down payment on a NY City apartment.

(Actually, I’d be more than willing to say, “[Fiance], thank you for your generosity, but I wish you would find me a pretty ring in an antique shop for $200 and put the rest of what you were planning to spend down on an apartment/a bigger apartment/a vacation home.” I think that would be a lovely gesture about a future life together.)

It’s difficult, you know, the thing with the engagement ring. I think a lot of women don’t feel loved in a peculiarly feminine way unless they’re bought expensive luxuries every once in awhile. It’s a bizarre sort of cultural thing, and I find myself succumbing to it too, sometimes. There’s a sense of the traditional value of women as expressed in the ritualistic giving of luxury gifts that’s hard to shake–like, because my boyfriend gave me pearl earrings on Valentine’s day, he loves me, and more importantly, he loves me in the way a woman is supposed to be loved. Like I said, I do find myself reacting this way, sometimes. It’s kind of scary, and in general, I think it’s mostly about women’s insecurities about femininity (their own and abstractly).

On gifts in general, though, I think giving something that underlines a connection between me and the person I’m giving it to is always best. I may be stretching my budget a bit to buy my sister an iPod shuffle, but I’ll also be burning her enough mix CDs to fill it up. I want to give her the music that I listen to of which she’s been appreciative in the past. Similarly, I’ll be making marble magnets and clove oranges for friends, and I hope they’ll take them in the spirit in which I intend them: that I value their friendship enough to put time into giving them something.

The best gift I’ve ever received are the ones from my mom because they are thoughtful and very practical. Last year, my mom made me a cute little basket and it was full of personal items (soap, deodorant, lotion, shampoo, razors, etc). What made it so special is that she bought ALL the brands I love.

You see, I haven’t lived at home in over 12 years. So there’s no way she could have known my preferences unless she thought long and hard or maybe did a little diggin. I loved it and used every last item. It’s the ONLY gift I remember that year. And it saved me a bunch of money too!

I have no idea if my friend took the apartment or the ring. It was something he suggested and something she talked about with me. Outcome is still unclear.

Anyway, I agree with you about the thought. One of my favorite gifts is a little basket full of cookbooks my aunt bought me for my birthday. It was probably one of the least expensive things she’s ever gotten me, but I loved it! I can’t even remember the other gifts I got that year.
My fiance always gets me really thoughtful gifts. I don’t know what he spends, but I use or wear whatever it is over and over until it breaks or falls apart. I don’t care if it cost $5.
The gifts I love giving people are the gifts I thought a lot about and tailored to that person’s needs and interests.

Going back to the ring in your topic, I have a gorgeous wedding diamond engagement and wedding band – my husband had created for me. I love them totally, but they have only a fraction of the personal value of a simple white gold band with an embedded diamond in a heart that is engraved with the words “I Love U” on the inside, that I received from my husband after our wedding, when all our guests went home.

Cost has nothing to do with value.

Her made me a scarf a few years ago, and I still wear it. It is a tab bulky, but I never want to look at other scarves because the one she made me is my favorite.

I did a test run for some cookies and tarts I’m making for a couple of my friends. The cookies during the baking process spread out too much so they’re huuge so im debating whether to send those or not.

But I met a girl this summer, a cousin of a friend who opted not to get an engagement ring/party and put the money toward a downpayment on a house. And this is for a girl who’s totally into tradition and buying expensive makeup and clothes. Looks are deceiving.