I got stuck holding the bag on three nights at a posh resort for this wedding in Puerto Rico. Luckily some good things happened.
1) The PR bride found me another guest to split rooms on two nights.
2) My ex-boyfriend is living in San Juan and suggested I looked at the Isla Verde neighborhood and scored a cheap hotel for $80+ a night for the final night, which is about half of what I would have paid at the posh resort.
3) I told one of the September brides I could not attend her wedding due to expenses. She has graciously offered me the room she rents since she won’t be there for the week during the festivities. So no hotel needed! But I’m not out of the woods yet… (I would have asked my other friends in that town to host me, but they are all silly cat owners and I am very allergic.)
4) This leaves me with having to rent a car. But the bride tells me one of our friends is driving to town with her cello (to perform at the wedding) and might be willing to chauffeur me around. At the very least, another friend called me right away because I cc’d him on the email with the bad news. If he rents a car, he might also ferry me around as well.
5) I forgot that I have a $185 event ticket for my regular vacation plans which I can sell off to defray costs. I decided long ago to forgo this event for these weddings, but forgot I was holding a saleable asset! Woo hoo!
6) Folks have offered to scrounge up airline miles for me to fly to one of the September weddings.
So, when desperate for a solution, people get creative. There are some other options to explore, but I am glad I said something now rather than nothing too late. I will have to figure something out with the other September wedding as well. (I am thinking of bringing my tent and camping in the backyard of the house and dashing in as needed, saving myself the expense of a hotel, but is that being frugal or cheap? Again, it’s make or break on being able to go…)
What’s the lesson learned? There’s a few.
1) Plan your finances! Know your current state of affairs. Know what you can or cannot afford. If I didn’t know what I was going to be spending on stuff in the next 6 months, I wouldn’t have been able to understand the impact of these weddings on my finances.
2) Say SOMETHING! It really hurt to have to swallow my pride and admit I could not go. But once I did, the phones started ringing with different solutions I could not manage on my own. My close friends are really wonderful people. I’ve known them now for 14 years. Crazy that is. Just crazy.
3) Say something EARLY! Sometimes it takes time to make things happen and time is on your side. I’ll be making phone calls, trying to sell my event ticket, figuring out blackout dates, etc. But I have two months to plan and not just 2 weeks or 2 days.
ps- The PR bride is already at the hotel and has sent me a text message that food is expensive there. The plan now is to buy some Powerbars and drinks to put in my hotel room and avoid extra food costs.
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You have fabulous friends! I’m glad everything is working out.
@ living in a tent and eating power bars. Too funny! Sry girlie, but yea, that’s CHEAP! LOL
What a great post!
I know what you mean about raising the flag early.
I’ve created my own sideshows during big-stage dramas by not announcing my financial issues/concerns/limitations early.
Wow! The Frugal Duchess reads my blog! THANK YOU!
Single Ma, I know it’s CHEAP! But would you miss out on a great party rather than appear cheap? Tell me the truth because I can count on you to keep it real!
HA HA you got that right! I wouldn’t miss a great party for the world. By the time the weekend was over, my new name would be “Ms Freeloader.” LOL Knowing me, I wouldn’t even care cuz I made the party, didn’t go broke and we ALL would have fun!
Seriously though, I’m impressed with how you’re working it out.
Good luck! When I travel I usually take some dried fruit with me, as well as a couple peanut butter sandwiches. Some of my coworkers make fun of me because we travel with expense accounts, but I really do it because I prefer to not have to buy every snack and meal out if possible.
Yeah, the broke people gotta stick together. I went to a destination wedding in the Caribbean, but was a groomsman so I felt it was my duty to rent a car and chaufeur (sp?) people around. We all got rooms at the same really cheap hotel, though.
I should have tried to split a room, in retrospect. We all just hung out the whole time anways in each other’s rooms. Good that you are thinking ahead!
Your experience shows that real friends do come through in a time of need. Glad to see things are smoothing themselves out.
LOl @ the tent and power bar, that is cheap.
mapgirl, sorry to hear I won’t be seeing you at that other vacation event you’re skipping this year. But if you haven’t found a buyer yet for that sale-able asset, there’s a guy in our village who’s looking for one.
Does the hotel have a fridge in the room? You might be able to pack along some cereal and either powdered milk or the soy/regular milk in those shelf stable boxes for breakfast, and you might be able to pick up a loaf of bread and some lunch meat or something locally to bring back to the hotel. . .
Good luck and have lots and lots of fun.
Hi Jenn,
Yes, did you not read the entire post? The bride already let me know to bring some food with me. Fridge or not.
However, when you’re riding by publico from point-to-point, it’s a little hard to stop for groceries.