Wedding Finance Problem Solved for Me
I’m going to Puerto Rico next weekend for a very expensive wedding. I should have declined, but I’m the maid of honor and the only attendant. I would be declining on my friend confiding to me that I’m her closest emotional intimate in town. How do you say no to that? I was supposed to room with a friend, but she forgot to change her RSVP on the wedding website and the bride and I thought she was still going.
Well, apparently she’s not. So I am stuck paying about $150+/night for three nights at a posh resort. Yes, I resent the bride mildly for certain decisions she’s made in regards to selecting a destination wedding. While she did give me the opportunity to pass on it because of the expense, I said yes only because I thought the other friend was going to help me share expenses. And the bride is also stuck holding the bag for a guest who did not change her reply before the headcount was taken. Now I know that an RSVP is not a firm commitment to anyone of anything. Lesson learned. When will my naivete rub off? Why do I take people at face value and expect them to behave with integrity?
Now that the other girl isn’t going to go, if I can’t find another wedding guest to share a room and split the bill, I will have to forgo two other weddings in September to get my teeth fixed, which I probably should have done anyway. This is after one of the September grooms asked me this morning to write a letter for INS about how he met the bride through me. I am crushed.
Yeah, don’t even talk to me about the vacation time I’m giving up to fly the horrible skies with airlines that lose my luggage.
This fiscal challenge is going to be a tight squeeze on me for the rest of 2006. I’ll be paying for all this stuff with credit cards till Christmas at least.
udandi wrote:
ouch on the hotel room situation! I wonder if getting stuck with the hotel bill for a friend’s wedding is a rite of passage because that happened to me, too.
with each wedding, I find/learn something else that makes me lack enthusiasm for the next one.
good luck with all of it!
Posted on 29-Jun-06 at 5:57 pm | Permalink
D wrote:
Wow, this is going to be tough. Chalk it up to a lesson learned. Now is the time to let go of the icky emotions and focus on the joyous occasion. Don’t let the ones who let you down, bring you down to the point of messing with your friends wedding day. My guess is you are going to have a beautiful time in lovely paradise.
You are young and you should be having fun. Money is important, I agree with that. Although sometimes you have to just go for it and have a ball. This may very well be one of those memories you treasure your entire life. Go get it, it’s worth more than the money you will spend.
Have fun - that’s an order.
Don’t jump ship on the other weddings either. Where there is a will there is a way. I know you are frustrated right now, but you know how to get through it all.
Posted on 30-Jun-06 at 8:23 am | Permalink
claire wrote:
Sounds discouraging, Mapgirl.
I actually think it’s a good decision to skip the other weddings. Your teeth (and your ability to meet your other bills) are more important than being a face in the crowd on somebody else’s happy day.
I hope Puerto Rico is worth it.
Posted on 30-Jun-06 at 12:01 pm | Permalink
Single Ma wrote:
Ugh! That hotel situation would piss me off! Big time! As the maid of honor, I’m sure this is your BEST friend. Hail or high water, I know you got her back! When it comes to my ride or die sistas, money is all gravy so I commend you for sucking it up.
As for the September weddings, are you IN those too? If not, I’d still attend if there’s no air travel required. Sounds like a close friend so I know you’re going to buy a gift anyway. Even without a gift, your presence is priceless. Mind as well go and share in their special day.
When it’s your turn, you’ll be glad you did.
Posted on 30-Jun-06 at 8:13 pm | Permalink
Jonathan wrote:
Ha, now I feel guilty because we also had a pseudo-destination wedding. But I actually went out and found hotel rooms for $69/night and subsidized (aka paid for) two nights for everyone under 30 (my friends basically) who came.
So the really broke people just had to pay for the plane tix, took the two nights, and left
Posted on 07-Jul-06 at 6:47 pm | Permalink