Horrified by NPR Today
This is a story about the Carmody family of Connecticut. The oldest daughter makes $40K a year and lives at home. Her older brother makes about $30K and also lives at home. The youngest just finished college, and not surprisingly, also lives at home.
I am horrified because their parents seem to imply they are cannibalizing their retirement contributions to support all three kids living at home in a comfortable lifestyle. The parents make $90K annually and still find it hard to make ends meet.
I know I made the financially crippling decision to leave home after finishing school, but to be 25 or 27 and still spending selfishly doesn’t seem very wise to me. I left home and I lived hand to mouth for a few years, arguably until last year. But that lifestyle translated into a mentality where I don’t need new things all the time. (Listen carefully to the older daughter about shopping.)
What do you think? Do you think all these folks need an attitude adjustment? I do!
D wrote:
I too am deeply troubled by this. What are these parents doing? As far as I am concerned they have sacraficed their childrens financial security. They should give them all a date to be out. Forcing them to adjust their way of life and for goodness sake - GROW UP!!
They owe their parents for their life and where they are today not the reverse. This got me riled.
I will be quiet now. LOL.
Posted on 02-Jun-06 at 9:34 am | Permalink
Dave wrote:
I couldn’t agree more! The sad thing is the parents say they are sacrificing so their kids can have a better life, but all they are giving the kids is a more materialistic life in the short-run. They are likely ruining their chances of taking responsibility for their own futures.
I have seen my parents go into terrible debt to give my brother and I “more than they had”, but all it did for me was inspire me to live beyond my means too. There is a reason many of the most successful people come from humble beginnings. I think it’s time to realize that pampering young adults is detrimental to everybody’s future.
Posted on 02-Jun-06 at 9:56 am | Permalink
claire wrote:
I haven’t lived with my parents since I was 17, except for a 3-month stint when I was 22.
What will I allow my own son to do? I don’t know. I’m afraid I might be too much of a softie to say no if he wants to spend a little longer in school, take a couple years to find his feet, etc. But I hope if he’s living with me I’ll require him to a.) pay some reasonable rent and b.) save a pretty large percentage of his income so he can eventually move out and be on solid financial footing.
Posted on 02-Jun-06 at 10:07 am | Permalink
Anonymous wrote:
I agree, this is appalling, but I don’t think this mentality is all that unusual. There was an article in the NYT a few weeks ago about parents subsidizing their children’s lifestyles with cash allowances - one mother paid her son’s cell phone bill and gave him $300 each month. I moved out of state shortly after school, but my sister, who lives in the downtown area of the city where our parents live, still has her groceries purchased by them, and she’s 30! In their minds, they are helping her save money because it would be “too expensive” for her to go grocery shopping downtown.
Posted on 02-Jun-06 at 10:56 am | Permalink
LAMoneyGuy wrote:
I hear you, but I blame the parents almost as much as the kids.
I know a couple who has been married for a full year and each live at their respective parents’ homes. No, not together. She lives with her parents, and he lives with his parents.
At some point, I think the parents need to say, “you know what? You have one month. Go.”
They both have decent paying jobs.
Posted on 02-Jun-06 at 11:02 am | Permalink
financial death trap wrote:
Seems that way to me. Part of the blame has to fall on the parents though for allowing college educated people in their 20s to freeload?
Posted on 02-Jun-06 at 12:23 pm | Permalink
mapgirl wrote:
I recognize my own hypocrisy here. My parents’ company pays for my cellphone and thus all my long distance bills, and they did give me my condo downpayment. But I think this is really excessive. I don’t abuse the privilege, nor have I put my parents retirement in jeopardy.
My parents gave me a good life, but I really think this is going too far for kids who have decent jobs and make enough to support themselves.
Posted on 02-Jun-06 at 3:43 pm | Permalink
annab wrote:
There’s that saying “shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in 3 generations”. You see someone create wealth and pass that to their childre, but not the skills to protect the wealth. Then the kids aren’t equipped to make the same advancements the parent’s did, and aren’t able to provide for their own kids in they way their parents provided for them.
Posted on 02-Jun-06 at 3:48 pm | Permalink
Anonymous wrote:
The only possible reason I could give them a pass on this is if the brats are agressively paying paying off student loans so they don’t go out into the cold cruel world already in the hole financially.
Posted on 06-Jun-06 at 9:34 am | Permalink